u/XPLEnjoyer

Hi all,

I haven't touched modern in some time (since one ring ban) as I've been focused on pauper. However, with modern being the rcq format for the season, I figure it would be worthwhile to play the format again. The trouble, though, is being stuck between which of these four decks to play. Right now I'm between

-Amulet

-Affinity

-Belcher

-Domain Zoo

All of these decks entice me for various reasons, but I currently only care about viability. I have the most experience on titan and zoo, with titan having many years of play between multiple iterations. I've never played the deck with the analyst/scapeshift loops and they look rather complicated to learn. Just wanted to gather some thoughts! Thanks :)

For the first time in my life I have considered detransitioning. I have gotten a better handle on my BPD only for depression and dysphoria to worsen considerably in a very short time (a few weeks). It feels like every day I consult a laundry list of things I feel I'm regressing in, I have no motivation to do things that are net positive for my transition like relearning makeup or voice training, and I have nothing but abject despair over most of my features. I feel like I've gone from being normally dysphoric and struggling with myself but being able to see a positive outcome for things to genuinely hating every part of my body and never wanting to go in public or have to interact with anyone ever again. I contemplate suicide more frequently and more legitimately than I have in a very long time. I wish I could have my skull in so that I wouldn't have to worry about it all anymore. Work is tiresome, life is tiresome. I hardly enjoy anything between the depression and wanting every part of my body scraped off with a razor.. it truly seems pointless to go on anymore. I have things and someone to live for, but even still. I just fucking hate every single part of me. Why even bother?

Torn between decks for rcq season

My zoomer gf drew the average interaction between her and I

I don't know how to continue existing