Hard to tell what hes feeling
So I have a 28yr gap w my partner, hes 67, 68 this year and Im 39, 40 this year. I have never felt this way about another man that I have dated/had sex with. The sex is what hooked us initially and now have grown into something more serious over the years.
I am very open about my feelings toward him. I am also clingy and have borderline personality disorder so I can have some rough moments. The fact that he doesn't talk about his feelings makes my brain spiral about once a month or so around my cycle and I usually end up saying or doing something that hes basically like "ahh here is the age difference". We have perseverance through ROUGH arguments in my delusional states sadly and he is still here. We still have this strong bond after 4 years.
Now we don't have sex as much sometimes but honestly I can just masturbate because I would never cheat on him because our sex is that good it's worth waiting for and I just have this magnetic intense love for him and the desire to take care of him that I've never really felt before and I'm attracted to his maturity and personality even though sometimes I act like it bothers me because it does sometimes but I realize that I love him more than I care about these personality flaws as I have many myself.
Sorry this is long-winded but I have gotten better with my BS and delusion and that doesn't really happen much anymore and now I just kind of get a little snarky because we don't hang out as much as I'd like to but he is a more solitary guy and has never been married and has no children, and yet loves my son and so I know he cares about me because of the way he acts I'm just curious if it's his age why he doesn't say it more often?
Also no its not for money. He doesn't pay my bills and we take turns paying when out. I don't want anything from him but his company.