u/WrencherLady84

As I was growing up, I noticed that on TV and pretty much in society around me, sexual relationships seemed to be the only kind of relationships conveyed that had any real depth, true verbal expression of emotion, or life giving power of it's own. In comparison, same sex friendship especially seemed extremely superficial and touch-me-not. I remember seeing this and wondering what was wrong with me, because I longed for the kind of intimacy I saw in sexual relationships, but the friendship version of it. I wanted the chaste, physical affection of hand holding and snuggling in bed and whispering but it was seen as "weird" by people around me. Feeling alone really took a toll on me for years until I started reading fairly recently about the history of how deep friendship actually was, sometimes even becoming life companions. Did anyone else go through anything similar?

The late C.S. Lewis described friendship as the most angelic of loves. He said that while lovers are depicted as looking at each other, friends are side by side observing the same truth. And why can that not be romantic in its own right? I am a woman who has had 41 years of living to learn who I am and what my soul is called for. I welcome the possibility of meeting a woman who sees what I see and I see what she sees. Imagine yourselves finding a friend like that. You each represent a butterfly wing, symmetrically knit to the same life at the center and you take flight for the mission ahead. And this is why I will advocate for friendship for the rest of my life.

I really believe our culture sees celibacy as a death sentence. Touch starvation is a real issue and we have been conditioned to associate deep physical affection with sex. Lies. Deep, chaste physical affection with your close friend(s) is essential to human flourishing. Ladies, yall got a friend who you see as a sister? Walk down the street holding hands, I dare you. Screw it, have a spend the night, share the bed and tell each other secrets like you're 10 year olds again. Fellas? Got a friend you see as a brother? Do the same thing. Let's make friendship look badass. Celibacy is NOT a tragedy. It's our superpower.