The gay “community”
There was a post (now deleted by the user) where he expressed not liking being part of the gay community basically due to the frustration and disillusionment of its exclusionary, superficial, and emotionally unfulfilling nature rather than being supportive or inclusive.
The sad thing he got RAILED in the comments, but the truth is… he is totally right and valid, and I want to piggyback off it and reiterate.
It's not only an issue confined to the US or a certain age group. It's a UNIVERSAL THING. It happens everywhere; the gay culture and community is all the same. We are actively being sold a lie of inclusivity, sense of community, solidarity, and support when in fact, it's the furthest thing from that. How can a "community" be built upon superficiality, hypocrisy, and lack of integrity and authenticity? It seems like if you don't get them wet, you are of no use to them.
On a side note, I'm not an ugly or an "empty" guy; if anything, I'm emotionally and socially intelligent, in my 20s, fit, and with above average looks overall.
Being observant and picking up on patterns have been a curse in disguise. Now that I am starting to clock people out on their behavior, I had no choice but to isolate myself almost entirely. Every interaction was disappointing and frustrating to say the least. And I refuse to exist in spaces where I have to make myself smaller to fit in.
And btw, i come from a homophobic country where being gay is criminalised, so the only way to interact openly and meet with other gays is through dating/ hookup apps. Third spaces exist in private and are exclusive (only if you meet their criteria aka they wanna fuck you). So, I am at a point in life where I am just tired... where my only options are either being fetishised/lusted over, or outcasted. I just don't want to seek external validation the way every other gay guy seem to do in order to fill an emotional void, gain attention, or curb boredom. The only way to be included here is to have 1k+ followers on ig, post half-naked gym pics, or flaunt a "cool", "rich" lifestyle of constant travel/partying (which a lot of gays fake btw).
I know this is controversial and will get a lot of hate. I feel sorry and frustrated that a lot of comments on the original post invalidated OP’s and other people’s experiences.
Again, it is a universal issue. And we "as a community" will not prosper and flourish until we recognize, admit, and accept that we have LOTS of issues.
We seem to be miles away from doing so though… We keep excusing unwarranted behaviors, and using our traumas, history, and past as scapegoats.