I made a post earlier and now that I’ve calmed down a bit I figured I’d give all a little background
So about 6 years ago I went to Ohio with some friends. While in Ohio I met a guy and had a one night stand. I went back home to Tennessee and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I tried telling him I was pregnant but he blocked me. That’s fine I didn’t need him. After I had my daughter I figured I’d give him one more chance and that’s when he decided he wanted to apart of her life. He visited us in Tennessee a couple time and things was looking good I honestly seen us becoming a family eventually.
When my daughter was about 6mo I got a letter in the mail to go to family court in Ohio. That’s when I found out he’s trying to make me move to Ohio and had a list full of demands I wasn’t comfortable with. Even though I was financially comfortable with a kid I wasn’t financially stable enough for a lawyer. So dad had a lawyer to speak for him and I was alone trying to speak for myself and the judge just kept ruling in his favor no matter how hard I fought. I still got to keep full custody but I had to move to Ohio.
Maybe I was blind from the idea of being a family but he once I moved to Ohio we continued seeing each other and now that I was living in Ohio it was actually possible for us to be a family now. Plus he was paying my bills so being 20 I thought he loved me and we was a serious couple. After about a year and a half I found out he was married, and was only married a year before I got pregnant. I ended things immediately but his wife found out because he still wanted visitation and even though what he did was wrong it seemed wrong for me to keep him away from his daughter and my daughter from her dad.
He stopped paying my bills, which I expected as much, but I only made $15/hr so I started falling behind on bills and eventually got evicted. Now I’m homeless and states away from any support system I had I had no choice but to send her to her dads till I figured something out.
At this time I was living in a hotel, only eating whatever I could get free from work (McDonalds), and it was just impossible to save for shit. After living like that for 4 or 5 months I couldn’t even afford the hotel. Homeless shelters was full, I didn’t make enough to get approve for any apartments, and the housing projects had a 3 year waiting list. I had no choice but to go home to Tennessee.
Not even a month in Tennessee I got a letter saying I need to go back to Ohio for court because he’s taking me for full custody. And given everything I was going through at the time on top of violating our custody agreement by moving to Tennessee the judge gave him everything he wanted. I was only allowed 8 hr of supervised visitation a month and had to pay $1,000/mo in child support.
Now this is where yall might start judging me… I met a guy and again I was young and blind. We only dated for 3 months but in that short time he took everything from me. I fell $7,000 behind on child support because he would steal my whole check the minute I got paid. He was mentally and physically abusive and I tried so hard to get out of that relationship but I couldn’t. One night I found him cheating because he had the girl over and in front of her he started hitting me. That’s when I had enough and couldn’t control myself, I started beating him and didn’t stop till the cops showed up. I went to jail.
Bd found out I went to jail and of course took me back to court. They brought up my exs past and that’s when I found out he was on meth and had a vary long criminal record. So of course I was deemed unfit and lost visitation.
So trying to get caught up on child support I also I’d court fees and probation fees I had to pay off, barely making above minimum wage, I fell behind on everything. No matter what I do I was looking at more jail time.
I tried talking to be about child support and he offered to stop child support and help me pay it off if I let his wife adopt. He said we’d have to end all contract but we’ll stay friends on fb so I can still see pictures. At the time I didn’t see any other options. I knew she was in good hands with him, and even though I hated it his wife treated her so good like her own. It honestly seemed like it was the best thing to do.
After I signed the papers they posted pictures all the time but I still had 6 months to change my mind about the adoption. After the 6 months they stopped posting any new pictures. I didn’t think nothing of it at the time because I knew they just bought a house and she’s pregnant so they just had a lot going on. Then pictures started slowly getting deleted but they was posting a lot more but the new post they’re blocking out her face and only her face. So I just can’t help but to believe they’re doing it deliberately and feel like I got played and taken advantage of.
I paid off all of my child support back payments without his help. Not really important but felt like I needed to add that. And also to answer other questions, yes I signed the adoption papers about 3 years ago. I’m well aware they’re her parents and theres nothing I can do. It just sucks knowing all of this could have been prevented and I would still have my baby girl if I would have never given him a second chance.