Questions I’d ask my wife if I thought she’d be up for answering them.
Why do you want me here living with you?
What are you getting out of this? Is it just my income? Is it the income you don’t want to lose in alimony? Is it so the boys have a father around all the time? Is it the pressure you feel from society to keep up appearances? Are you afraid that you wouldn’t find anyone after me? You would. You’re a good catch for someone with a low libido. You’re beautiful and smart and a hard worker. You’re well educated and you have an impressive job.
Or is this relationship working for you? Is this what you want, a friend to live with that you never have to show physical affection for or any affection for? You get to have a husband but without all the gross touching? Is it gross to touch me? Is it gross to touch anyone romantically? I know you’re not adverse to touching in general because I see the way you snuggle the kids and the dog. Is it just romantic touch? Is it just my touch? If your husband were someone else would you desire him?
Is it me? Is there something I could change that would make you desire me? If I lost some weight or got a higher paying job or vaped less weed or was more handy at fixing the house? Would that make you desire me?
Is it because years ago, before I took sex off the table and stopped initiating all touch with you, I put too much pressure on you to have sex?
Is it you? Can this all be boiled down to menopause? Is this just the new you from now on? Your body changed and now you have no libido and that’s just the way it’s going to be forever and I have to decide if I can live with it or not?