Seriously go on a run
Wowwwww.
Yesterday I was in the pit 2 weeks post dump and 2 days after seeing him and him acting like I was dirt… right.
Today I got the fuck up and went on a lovely run in the fresh air, it really is medicine I promise you.
I had so many epiphanies on my run. Why the fuck did I stay in that so long? Why am I letting him make me feel so shit and anxious now? It really really is his loss
He can say and think what ever the hell he likes about me. I’ve been kind throughout, respectful, have not contacted him once since replying to the dumping (which i accepted and wished him well) and have no acted out in any way since his cruel treatment of me 2 days ago where he told me he owes me nothing and then hugged and flirted with someone he has had sex with in front of me to get a reaction.
I just ran and thought what the actual fuck am I doing moping in bed trying to ubderstand him or when he will message me. So what? Why the hell would I want to allow someone who has shat all over my effort, never taken accountability and then been vile to me, ever ever back into my life. Literally good riddance.
It is so important to be the better person. So, so important . They WANT you to react, show you care, ask about them. It feeds them.
I’ve decided not to block him. I’ve deleted socials instead because I think regardless I need to just detox and get to the gym and do healthy habits. For now I think I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of me coming across bothered. I’m literally just going to pretend he is a ghost. He is muted, his number is deleted, photos are so far in a vault app.
So excited to get the fuck through this. Very aware I’ll wobble again and this is a good day but honestly , exercise is key , it really is. It calms your anxiety down so much you can actually think clearly.
I can now finally remember how anxious and miserable I’ve been for 4 months trying to hold the emotional weight of my relationship, trying to be good enough and walking on eggshells ; all whilst being made out to be putting ‘pressure’ on him for not understanding what he’s been through. It’s always one rule for them and one rule for you.
So many better people out there. Take their nice qualities, and never go for one that has their horrible ones again. See this a positive shift in your life because it is.
THEY LOST YOU!
You KNOW you were loving and kind and always there and when the evil dust settles they will remember that too and run along back to you again, Hansel and grettling you to make sure ur still there to eat the crumbs.
The sooner we all realise that the crumbs are poisonous the better.
The only possible ever ever ever circumstance you should ever ever CONSIDER taking them back is serous apology, serious accountability, serious effort to change their emotional issues and yourself being in a strong enough place to comfortably walk from that at the FIRST sign of the cycle starting again, not the second or third.
Just get up, get on, stay busy, and think of them as the heroin they are. Great , addictive, but they will KILL you an you need to stop teasing yourself with it. Go cold turkey.