I'm gonna call this a snack since it's not a big meal!
If anyone cares to know:
Sauté'd onions, a crushed clove garlic and cherry tomatoes in olive oil and a little butter, reduced with water and added a tiny dash of milk. I used the same pan with a tsp olive oil to sear the salmon skin side down first. The skin got super crispy and the salmon was soo juicy. I never cooked salmon like this and I'm pretty proud of the results.
I was diagnosed with a moderate depressive episode in 2021 but wasn't medicated until about 2023. By now, I basically check all the boxes for a major depressive episode, but don't have a diagnosis for it.
Things only got worse for me despite seeing a therapist regularly and trying out different meds. I've been on small dosages of Fluoxetine, Sertraline, and now I'm on 20 mgs Lexapro.
Fluoxetine and Sertraline literally made me feel nothing and I was never given a dosage above 10 or 20 mg for either of them. I've been taking Lexapro for months and the only thing it did was make me feel more suicidal and miserable than I already was. I didn't feel stabilized or happy or even numb, just worse. The days when I sis feel good were never because of the pills.
A week ago, I had enough of them and decided to quit cold turkey. I know that's stupid, but I'm out of pills anyway and can't afford to get new ones, so there was no way around this.
I've been feeling the worst I have ever felt. I constantly think about harming or killing myself, I'm irritated all the time, I don't eat, I'm dizzy, I have tremors, I have the most excruciating nightmares. The nightmares every night are the worst thing. Tried going outside and my legs wouldn't stop shaking like crazy. I can't think straight or focus on things and I just feel like I'm actively dying if that makes sense.
I wish these pills did something for me other than give me horrible side effects and I hope that they work well for other people. I don't really know what to do to make my symptoms less severe or feel at least slightly less like I'm in another terrible nightmare.