Mom won’t allow haircut
First time FP here to kinship placement. Mom won’t allow 4 year old son to get a haircut. Mom is claiming he’s growing to be able to donate it but this is not by his choice. Developmentally delayed and potential diagnoses to come at some point. This has been a lifelong thing for mom, but after 3 years his long hair was cut without a donation- I’m not sure who or why it was done then. I’m honestly not even sure the last time mom has been the primary caregiver of this little person either.
My concern is there is clearly trauma around the hair, I’m lucky when I can wash his hair in the tub without setting off a major meltdown or behaviors and he won’t allow a brush near his head -even just the soft boars hair brush. I’ve tried to brush with all sorts of different tools, different distractions, different times of day and I’m at a loss. I don’t feel right continuing to go after him with a brush time after time and scream after scream.
We’re doing things like story boards and watching Daniel Tigers routine to really make progress— we’re starting to sit on the potty and even allowing a toothbrush in our mouth, but the head/hair is a no-go zone.
How do we navigate this situation? Is this just a time to respect his personal space around his head until he feels safer and secure? Is there light at the end of this tunnel or should I be documenting and continuing to push for an eventual release for a haircut?