AITA for refusing to see my cousin who confessed that he’s in love with me?
My close family moved abroad, and my aunt’s family did too. Me (19F) and my cousin (17M) ended up at the same boarding school. Since we didn’t speak the language and were both dealing with a huge life change, we became very close and relied on each other a lot. We took the train home together every weekend and later even switched to another school together, which felt comforting. I really valued him as family and a friend, never anything romantic. Sometimes he acted oddly, like playfully putting me in headlocks. I repeatedly told him to stop, but he didn’t really listen. Eventually I changed schools again and we stopped seeing each other as often.
When he was 16 and I was 18, his father’s side of the family hosted a Halloween party. I asked if I could come, and before the party I sent him a picture of a short dress I was considering because I wasn’t sure how conservative that side of the family was. He said it was fine, though I wore something else anyway. At the party I met a guy related to his father who I’m not blood-related to. We clicked immediately and spent most of the evening outside talking. He walked me home later, but nothing happened. The next morning my cousin sent me this message: “[my name], basically, I love you. I mean, I like you as a girl and I’ve always liked you, but lately you’ve become my ideal. Sometimes it even feels like you flirt with me. I want to be with you. I can’t hide it anymore. I’m in love with you and hope the feeling is mutual.”
I felt physically sick. I replied something like “what the actual fuck dude” and immediately called my mom. My mom told my aunt. Apparently my aunt confronted him and he basically said “I’m already over it,” and she brushed it off as “sweet” that he’d finally fallen for someone. No one understood how violated and uncomfortable I felt. I already hate being sexualized in general, but especially by family, who are my comfort zone. Later I sent him a VM saying I understood people can’t control their feelings, but why tf did he think confessing them to me was appropriate. He apologized several times, but I went no contact for six months. Since then we’ve seen each other at family events and things have been civil, but I still dread being alone with him. Recently he asked to see me twice and I made excuses both times. Tomorrow is his birthday and he invited me. My mom says to go easy on him because he’s family and probably just wants to talk. I might go since other people will be there, but I’m terrified he’ll try to corner me into a one-on-one conversation.
Am I the asshole for going no contact for six months and refusing to see him alone?
EDIT:i should clarify. i dont see him as a threat. he is a weirdo but i dont think he can hurt me in any way. i dread seeing him because i cant get over this confession - knowing that all this time he was in love w me. i do not want to talk to him about this.