u/Upbeat-Aside-9510

My partner has relapsed after 5 months sober. We’ve been together for just under 3 years. He currently doesn’t have a job, he isn’t studying, he doesn’t do anything. I didn’t know he was an addict when we met I only found out a year later. I wish I knew, I really wish I knew. I love him but I’ve said to him I can’t think about marriage and children with someone who can’t get their life together in any way. It will hurt so much to leave him but I have to do it for me. I have recently come to realise I will never feel happy or settled if I stay and wait for a better outcome. I hope he gets better I do but I can’t wait for him to change any longer. He won’t accept that I don’t want to be with him currently but I hope as he sobers up he’ll realise he’s lost me. I understand recovery comes with high chance of relapse throughout but having grown up with an addict I never ever want that for my children. I didn’t realise how far in he was, according to his mum, this has been a years and years long struggle. I wish she’d said something having known my upbringing. Can someone tell me that it gets better after leaving. How can I deal with feeling like I haven’t done enough?