u/UnsurePerson1

Verse 1:
Backseat in a Lexus
Car speeding down, voice screaming loud
This time in adolescent
We're rolling wild, our sound like our pounds
Living life like on pension
Life on the ledge, could slip with an edge
A night like this I hit the section
A night like this I learn my lesson

Verse 2:
Acting like 350 on the LX
Add 10 for a round, fully back a round
Driving off the road west
Where no rules allowed, the law don't come down
This year been a long test
But at least here and now, I can settle down
Push myself against headrest
Pouring up for the dead yes
Hope they pour when I'm dead yes
Don't clink with names cause we ain't dead yet
Feel exactly when that pen hits
Got a pool like an ocean
I'm too deep in this potion
Way too deep in a moment
Memories in recordings

Pre-Chorus:
I can't stop while I'm floating off
Lungs changing to look like my pops
I'm just lucky I ain't push a rock
Bout buy my girl a pretty rock
Cause she love while my pockets soft
And she love me when I have no sauce
Got a plan so we can never rot
Gonna live way past that 20s club

Chorus:
Section living when the pockets up
Section living I can't get enough
Section living I can't get enough
And I'm not even 21

Verse 3:
Backseat, at the exit
Nights like the Nile, a flood with a dial
Every way is our direction
Rule the world, don't need a mansion
Evil juju gotta cleanse it
Hop in the shower, be back by an hour
A night like this I tried my first hit
A night like this I had my first trip
Steady working on my patience
Work so hard I need a paycheck
Still waiting for some payment
For buildings roads for buildings pavements
(A night like this)
With all my boys saying "We made it"
That's all my boys because I made it
I ain't saying that I'm famous
I just got bread for my whole crew

(Pre-chorus repeat)

(Chorus repeats)

*Beat drops where it should "end"*

Refrain:
And I'm not even 21
And I'm not even 21

-Small instrumental break-

Chorus 2:
Exactly how many miles we need to get out of here?
Cause we can roll back an hour but we can't roll back a year
I get how it's different now, now every year is unclear
Cause we can roll up for hours, getting closer to our near (GOD)

Verse 4:
Second I leave the sphere
Give me the loudest cheer
Cause second my actual date
So I don't want any tears
I'm seeing god in here
Belief on a cloud in here
I level up a tier
See yall in my rear, skir skir disappear
My family in fear
I'm whipping swerving and pulling in lots
Without getting it cleared
But I hide from danger, I'm ducking a narc
My own cashier, dug a hole for my bank
Closed mind off from seers, Paul's vision is blank
I'm ready I'm here
Not selling a fade I do not auctioneer
I'm not sipping no beer
So pour up that fancy you save for premiers
My leaves from tree, live a organic way
And I know where it's cheap, he pulls weeds for a pay, clear

Chorus 3:
Exactly how many miles we need to get out of here?
Cause we can roll back an hour but we can't roll back a year (clear clear clear)
Cause we can roll up for hours, getting closer to near (GOD)
(GOD (GOD)
God

Chorus:
Oh you can take me down the riverbank
Place a curse that makes me want to stay
But I'm still focused on the fish
How can I stand and just resist?

Verse:
Searching though, oh where's my heart?
I left on the floor again
It's getting hard to tell it apart
From all the junk that you let in
Take my world and pick it apart
Remind me I'm a failing man
And even when you didn't spark
It felt as if you're yelling it
Prisoner with no good plan
The door right there, cant act my hands
At least I finally grew me some
When you took them away, like water at the bank

Chorus 2:
Oh you can take me down the riverbank
Place a curse that makes me want to stay
But I'm still focused on the fish
How can I stand and just resist?
Im sinking in, and in and in and in
I love sinking in, in and in and in

Post-Chorus:
And in, and in and in and in
And in, and in and in and in

Verse 2:
Winter is cold but I still adored ya
Summer was warm, I miss back then
Resort my mind to happier thoughts
Vacay for weeks, just us and sand
I promise I had always loved ya
Just lately I'm going insane
I never ever meant to judge ya love
It was never the same, it stunned me to a break

(Chorus 2 again)

-Instrumental Break-

(Chorus 2 again)

*short pause no noise*

Post-Chorus:
And in, and in and in and in (I'm sinking in)
And in, and in and in and in (I'm sinking in)
And in, and in and in and in (I'm sinking downnnn)
And in, and in and in and in

Outro:
Least I said what I wanted say
I left no words, I left no secrets
I left my guard down
I left my guard down
----------------------------------------------------

What's the worst lyric here?
What do you think about the structure?
And of course how can I improve? I love to hear your opinions!

Anwser question down below if you want! Need feedback!

Verse:
I'm walking in from the lawn
I turned my location off
You have to follow the gram, to get into the mosh pit
You can smell every gram, you can smell every toxin
Take a deplete of your lungs, they sharing pills by the tongue

Verse 2:
I'm in the back of the yard, we getting talking wassup (Wassup? Wassup? was-)
You said that you need a trip, to be over the sun yeah
I got exactly wassup, I get my moss from jumangi
After show we'll meet up, as the show starting up

Pre-Chorus
Promise you'll never stop, always meet at the yard
I love you keeping me hos, l think I'm better as hostage (captive in your arms)
So we can jump in the mosh, into the mosh pit
After you'll jump on my tongue, steering the cockpit (high)

Chorus:
You wanna mosh n stuff
You wanna mosh n stuff
You wanna transport the feel like we're still out there moshing
You wanna mosh n stuff You wanna mosh n stuff
All night with a deal, love to stuff every last inc-

Verse 3:
"I know a spot where we can go to swap spit"
Tripping out while you go, I could tell you like chocolate
Dropped it right to the floor, no control when I'm talking
Dropping it down some more, actions the only talking
Pull up vicinity, getting green, lighting pockets
Viciously rip the seal, acting way outta pocket
Skillfully like a drill, replace, then shoot my rockets
Pizza dough spin you good, gotta learn how to sauce it
Copying every move, voices sound like we're mocking
Working a door to door, these moshes get you knocking
You control my whole world, kissing you makes me a god
I see the whole entire world when you planting yourself on top (goddess)

(Pre chorus repeats)

(Chorus repeats)

----------------------------------------------------

Do you think it needs a bridge?
What tone do you get from this? (What artist or genres)
What's the weakest lyric?
And of course how can I get better?

The vibe I was going for was a brakence Frank ocean mix