25M. I have more way more female friends than male friends? AM I COOKED?
Ladies and Gents of this kind reddit, please help me out.
Okay so this has been a thing which has started irritating me recently. I have more female friends than male friends. Like the ratio of current close friends is 1 male friend to 7 female friends.
Its not like I dont talk to other men, or am shy or even attracted to men. It's just that I am not able to open up to them as much as I am able to get close to/open up to my female friends. My main concern is that is this a sort of red flag to my relationship chances with anyone in future, like is this a big red flag or something?
Now for some clarification I am very courteous to all my friends irrespective of their gender. I have never fooled around or have any thing beyond that clear line of friendship like having some sort of situationship or anything with my female friends, just run of the mill nice guy (I hate this 'nice guy' label, as well as sounding so pretentious and if I loose you at this point in the post, its alright, collateral damage. But I really do believe that deep down everyone knows what they are and where do they stand in this weird social order and that is where I stand at the moment in each of my social relationships)
This insecurity of mine I think stems from a past relationship. The relationship itself ended some 4 years ago, but the terms on which it ended still haunts me deep down somewhere. Basically, the girl I was dating was one of my classmates in school, and in school this gender ratio was opposite and she was I think really the one person towards whom I made an effort to stick around to after school. But as I started with my bachelors and the this ratio started changing, I noticed her increasingly becoming insecure of the female friends I have. Now in her defense I think I really did change a lot during the initial years of college, and it might be something which she really hadn't bargained for in the relationship, so her call it jealousy (according to her this was her primary reason for leaving me) or anger could have really stemmed from that. And the whole thing really ended on me not being able to reassure her completely that I was really just close to her and not anyone else. But it was really her who had first pointed this out to me that I have way more friends of the other gender than the standard male-male friends stories as per the gospels. Since then some 4 years later now I still haven't dated anyone else.
Now I might just look like irl Shrek, and the whole reason I do not have anyone beyond that friend space could just be that I am fat and ugly. But even he had her fiona, plus am not really that fat, like a 7-7.5 out of 10. Additionally all the friends which I have, they all have vouched that its nothing about the way I look or how I behave or something about me which makes me incapable of finding someone but is really just luck so thats again some depressing validation. But the more I think about it, the more this insecurity of having more female friends than male friends eats me deep down.
So friends, if you are still with me. Is it really just that? Or am I doing something wrong? IDK let me know if I stopped making sense halfway through this post, and I will try to explain it to you more concisely, might even draw a chart or something for aid.
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TL;DR: Male. Have more female friends than male friends. Is this a red flag?