How did your partner react to you telling them you had BPD?
I'm not sure what I was expecting. Whenever I have opened up about my feelings in the past it hasn't gone well so I typically keep them to myself. Anyway as I have gotten older (now 51 M) I have found my BPD getting worse and harder to manage. I have been married for about 5 years. Before getting married I did tell my partner that I suffered with depression and previous suicide attempt but not the BPD diagnosis. I didn't tell her because I wasn't sure if it was correct (not confident in diagnosing physician over 30 years ago and dont necessarily meet all criteria) and overall I was doing as OK as possible. However, over time I am finding things more difficult. I thought that if I shared the diagnosis with her, my plan to try therapy again after 30 years and some books including walking on eggshells maybe we could support each other better (or at least she could support me better or better understand me). I was wrong. Immediately on raising the topic and mentioning the diagnosis my wife started crying loudly saying "I think I have it too". I didn't know what to say and just walked away but I was completely shocked. Firstly, I am pretty sure she never heard the term BPD before and secondly doesn't seem at least in my opinion to have the majority of the diagnostic criteria. It was quite simply a WTF moment for me. I was hoping and expecting some kind of support but it felt like being kicked hard in the stomach. There was no further discussion at all of this topic for months. Our marriage is not great. Most likely due to my BPD. Anyway I recognize that and wanted to improve so thought I would raise the issue again in a calm discussion. It also didn't go well. My wife said "I dont think you have that". "I read about it and I think I have it (as in my wife thinks she has it but not me". Again, a massive WTF, I would say incomprehensible, unexpected, and a massive blow. It was a glimmer of hope that maybe I could be better understood, better supported but seems like I'm in this alone. It's ok, probably deep inside I knew that from a young age. Got me thinking what kind of responses others got. Anyone get a wonderfully supportive response and lived happily ever after?