u/TurdTanker

My TL turns every conversation into a gym session 💀

No matter what you say, this man will somehow bench press the conversation straight into the gym.

I saw him today while I was on a pick walk. I hit him with a simple “good morning.” He asks how I’m doing, I say “alright,” and like an idiot, I go, “how about you?”

Instant regret.

Him: “Man, I’m feeling great. Just finished working out my back, lat pulldowns, rows, you know how it is.”

(He’s literally rolling his shoulders mid-convo like he’s still at the gym.)

“Gotta grab a protein drink before I start. I need like 180 grams a day to maintain muscle.”

I didn’t ask for ANY of that 😭

Every. Single. Time.

Me: “Hey, a customer just passed out in produce.”

Him: “Yeah, that reminds me of the time I was squatting heavy. Went so hard I almost passed out. You gotta control your breathing, engage your core.”

BRO.

Cool story, but what do I do about the dude currently folded on the floor???

Like, I respect the dedication. Live your best life. Get your gains.

Quite literally, I just walked in the background, and he's talked about his workout routine. 💀🤣

To be clear, I’m not one to pick on or make fun of anyone, but this guy pissed me off.

I went to the bathroom, and someone was pooping, I could smell it. I heard the toilet paper roll. I finished peeing and washed my hands.

A fat, nasty mfer comes waddling out of the stall as I finish drying my hands.

I use the paper towel to open the door. This slob is right behind me now, so I hold the door for him.

As he walks by, he says, “That’s fucking nasty.”

Confused, as I walk out behind him, I ask, “What’s that?” unsure of what he meant.

He replies louder and kind of angry, like I was challenging him for the last slice of pizza, “Opening the door with your used tissue!”

So I say, “Oh, it was a paper towel I used to dry my hands,” trying to reassure him it wasn’t like a snot rag or something like that.

He replies, “I don’t care, it’s fucking gross.”

This coming from a guy who didn’t even wash his hands after taking a shit.

I just smiled and walked into the backroom, cussing this dude out under my breath.

Not sure why I let him get to me.