u/TreadingWaterStill

Not that I subscribe to red pill theory, but my husband is repulsive to me and it is largely because of his “beta” tendencies. He doesn’t lead, I exclusively discipline the kids, make every decision about our family and home, and generally am the one to get shit done— totally out of necessity. He doesn’t take care of his body, has no ambitions, and just throws money at things (myself and sex workers included) because that’s usually the easiest fix.

I want to be soft and cared for. But I can’t be.

I’m wondering if anyone has a partner like this? Could sustained recovery work help this situation? So far 18m of recovery work and therapy just hasn’t made any difference and I’m beginning to think that’s just how he is. Unfit for marriage and unfit for fatherhood.

I’m 18m past day and I’ve found two incredibly cathartic ways to channel the emotions surrounding my betrayal trauma— working out and power washing my house/yard. I feel like both things help me feel like I’m capable of blasting off the planet entirely whatever next bullshit thing the universe throws my way.

I’m wondering what other things people have found to be helpful. The weirder the better!