u/Total_Succotash5174

I've been observing this pattern lately... I feel like I act kinda different depending on who I'm around or who I'm talking to

Not exactly in a fake way, just small stuff like how I talk, what I joke about, how much I say, and even my tone sometimes

And I think I've gotten so used to adjusting like that all the time that I don't really know what I'm like when I'm not thinking about it

Like if you put me in a room with no expectations and no one to match to, I'm not sure how I'd naturally act... honestly picturing this situation feels awkward

It's a bit weird to realize because I genuinely don't feel like I'm pretending, but I also don't feel like I'm fully... consistent?

Maybe this is normal and everyone does this to some extent ig? But it's just been on my mind a lot recently

I'm the type of person who spends A LOT of time thinking through a concept like layout, colors, overall direction etc and in my head it feels really solid

But the moment I actually start designing it... something just feels off

Either it looks flat, too basic, or just not as "clean" as I imagined no matter how many times I sit and redo it

And then I don't know if the idea was bad to begin with or if I just couldn't execute it properly

So I end up tweaking things over and over until I give up or abandon it completely

Does this get better with more experience or is this just part of the process? Cause at this point, this is starting to frustrate me a lot.

Some days I don't even do that much but I still feel really tired mentally

So I end up doing nothing for a while to "rest" like scrolling or just lying down... but that somehow doesn't make me feel any better either

It's like I'm tired before, during, and even after doing nothing

Is there an actual reason for this or am I just lazy or smth??

I'm a senior, graphic design major, and graduation is in like 8 weeks.

I don't have a job lined up. My portfolio is "fine" but not amazing. I'm still working at the campus coffee shop and honestly have no idea what I'm doing after May.

Everyone around me seems to have internships converting to full-time or grad school plans and I'm just like... hoping something works out?

I know I'm not the only one but it feels like I am. Is this normal or did I mess up somewhere along the way??