I'm violent with everyone around me and I don't know what to do to change
Hi I'm 20 and I'm so tired to be always angry and violent, I get angry easily and often end up hitting the person in front of me, who is often someone close to me.
I've tried working on myself, meditating, breathing exercises before I explode but I just can't seem to control my violent impulses.
when I end up hitting the person in front of me it's often because I feel like they don't understand what I'm saying, especially when I open up and talk about my feelings. If they don't seem to empathize/understand or continue to get angry at me, I don't know what to do or say anymore, and I hit them.
I've been like this with everyone around me, my mother, my sister, my ex who left me because of this. It's starting to completely ruin my life.
Should I go see a therapist? I'm scared they'll don't understand or that I won't be able to have the courage to talk about it.
I'm seeking advices or discussions around this topic... please