WIBTAH for going no contact with MIL/FIL after how they treated our wedding?
The relationship between my fiance and his parents has always been strained to begin with.. he never met his biological dad so his dad is his stepdad, and they had one more child biologically both of theirs who they always treated completely different than him. Babied him his whole life, even now at 40, but kicked my fiance out of the house the moment he turned 18, stuff like that. He claims it doesn’t bother him but it’s hard for me to understand how it couldn’t
Anyways, we are getting married in a couple of weeks. They are insisting they can only drive on certain days for no particular reason which leads to them having to start making the drive back home ON our wedding night, which means they have to leave extremely early since they insist they can’t drive in the dark. We’re talking leaving so early they miss 75% of the wedding. They would just be there for the ceremony and photos and leave before dinner. This came as a total shock considering this isn’t what we’ve been talking about at all for the past several months, MIL picked out mother son dance music and everything and the sudden change makes no sense. We’ve offered many solutions .. changing around which days are driving days (they are retired it’s not like they have to drive particular days), getting them an uber to and from their hotel the wedding night so they don’t have to drive in the dark, etc etc. They refuse every solution without any explanation as to why.
Given their driving schedule they said they would be able to come to the rehearsal dinner but leave early from the wedding to start driving back. I suggested maybe they could just shift their driving schedule back by one day so they could stay for the whole wedding, and said how the wedding is so much more important than the dinner (although we’d love to have them at both!) so if it has to be one or the other definitely make it the wedding! and she responded by saying well if the dinner isn’t important then now they won’t come to that either then.
They’ve made the drive out to see us to visit with our kids so many times but driving out for our WEDDING DAY is suddenly impossible? I feel extremely hurt and keep crying. I can’t imagine how my fiance feels that his own parents don’t give a shit enough about attending their son’s wedding to consider even one of the solutions we’ve offered.
She’s always been a really difficult woman to deal with but I’ve always tried so hard to be a good daughter in law to her despite the difficulties, sending her gifts for special occasions, reminding my fiance to be patient with her… I feel so hurt by this situation I’m considering that if they really can’t be bothered to come for our wedding day that I don’t want any relationship with them at all anymore. They want to come see our kids all the time and act very entitled about getting to visit with them but can’t be bothered to come for our wedding. WIBTAH if I went no contact if they really don’t come for our wedding?
Oh and cherry on top … the venue charges per person and it’s $165 a head. So we’d pay $330 for them to attend 25% of the wedding and not even eat the food since they have to leave so early. Not that I expect it but they have not contributed anything towards our wedding either despite them being extremely financially comfortable and retired. My own mom who struggles immensely financially still pitched in $500 cash plus helping with buying various decorations
TLDR MIL/FIL insist they have no choice but to miss 75% of our wedding day despite us giving them many solutions for all of the reasons they have to leave early. They act entitled to come see our kids whenever they want but can’t be bothered to be at our wedding day, and only gave us this bombshell of information 2 weeks before the wedding. If they really go through with this I’m considering going no contact. WIBTAH to go no contact over this?