u/Timely_Maximum_5914

I have a one classmate/seatmate who befriended me, and at first I was really happy because I don’t make friends easily since I’m selectively mute and very quiet. But after a few weeks, they started constantly chatting me to ask favors, especially about homework and projects.

What bothers me is the way they ask sometimes feels more like commands than actual requests. Instead of saying “can you help me?” they’ll just message things like “do help me do this” or “make this.” I feel like because I’m quiet, they assume I’ll always agree and won’t say no.

I kept helping for months because I didn’t want conflict or awkwardness, but now it’s honestly becoming exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if they actually value me as a friend or if they mostly like me because I help them.

I don’t know how to set boundaries without making things uncomfortable since we’re classmates and seatmates.

What should I do? Should I block them?

Every time a new school year starts, my parents and older siblings always tell me, “You can just talk,” or “You’re not disabled.” But even when I want to speak, I still can’t.

I’ve had selective mutism since I started school. I only understood what it was after researching it online in my late teens. Even after explaining it to them, they still think I can just force myself to talk whenever I want, but it’s not that simple. I am now in college still struggling 😓

I just want to share about my grades in 3rd grade, back in elementary , I had my lowest grade ever in 3rd grade and guess what I have only 60 average of grade it is equivalent to D in all of my subjects, almost failing. It is all because of me not able to talk at school.

One of my teacher actually talked to my parents about me not talking at school, but my parents also don't know about selective mutism and they think I'm just shy and they told my teacher that I'm very talkative at home, that's why those teachers think I'm faking it.

I just manage to pass because my parents asked for reconsideration from my teachers and to the school head.

They just know I'm just choosing not to speak and just being defiant. It all happened because they don't know selective mutism.

I still remember in that grade is my worst ever because my math teacher slapped me for not answering her questions.

And then my science teacher humiliated me in class saying your mouth will be infested with worms because you don't talk, thus it kinda affected me and I just can't control my selective mutism.

Sorry just telling story of my worst school experience no matter I want to erase it it just keeps going in my mind 😔. I just wanted to move on now 😌.

I still remember when I was in 7th grade and struggling with selective mutism. One day, a teacher approached my father after school and told him that I wasn’t speaking in class, asking if I had any illness that might be causing it. My father said no and explained that I could talk at home, just that I was shy. The teacher agreed and assumed that since I could talk at home, I should be able to talk at school too.

When we got home, my father scolded me, saying, “You can talk, so why can’t you talk at school?” He then told my mom what happened, and she also scolded me. She said, “Don’t be a hypocrite, don’t act like a two-faced person who shows one side to the world and another at home.” She added that she was tired of telling me the same thing again and again.

People around me kept saying that I would just grow out of it and it's just shyness.

The next day, my teacher made me stand in front of the class to speak. I stood up, but I couldn’t talk, it felt like my throat was paralyzed. It was extremely hard. Then my teacher humiliated me in front of everyone, saying, “You’re already old and still can’t talk? I can’t believe this.”

Now, years later, I’m still struggling because I never received proper treatment. I want to get help in the future and receive proper treatment from a professional, I think no one can help me more than I can help myself, especially since my family still doesn’t understand or take selective mutism seriously, even after I’ve tried to explain it to them.

I only learned about selective mutism in my late teens, when I was searching online, trying to understand what was happening to me. It was such a relief to discover that it’s a real condition and I'm not alone, that what I experienced had a name. I relate deeply to it.

Selective mutism is very difficult and misunderstood. People often think you’re being stubborn or choosing not to talk, and they assume you’ll just grow out of it, but it’s not that simple. It’s not just shyness that you can “warm up” from, selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that often requires proper understanding and professional treatment.