u/TimeAdministration78

i have been having debilitating health anxiety for months (well, i've had it my whole life, but it's been particularly bad recently). i am currently recovering from AN B/P which caused me to develop gastritis and GERD, which is just another beautiful example of how mental illness causes physical issues. but regardless, i believed i had an ulcer that would rupture and kill me... i got an endoscopy and was pretty much fine, lol. i had to take two medications to help heal my stomach/esophagus and i'm finally off of them!

but ever since this flareup, i have been having other really weird symptoms. primarily, blurry vision. it comes and goes throughout the day, but is especially bad at night. it's like that derealization feeling where it's like i'm in a dream and can't get back into my body. it's been a terrible experience that i just want to escape from.

i'm at a point where i'm finally starting to accept that this blurry vision may just be from my anxiety. i've gotten every blood lab done and came back pretty much fine. my EKGs and tilt-table test were fine. i didn't want to believe that my health anxiety is so powerful that it's messed with my vision this much for this long, but i think that might be the case. it's absolutely infuriating that a health issue can cause health anxiety, which then causes an entirely new health issue. how is that fair?! not to mention how my anxiety has messed with my sleep, which of course causes a million other problems :/ what's really helped me realize this is how the weird vision really only starts when i think about it, and it gets worse when i'm stressed. the issue is that i think about it right when i wake up because of my stupid OCD. ughhhhh.

anxiety is too powerful for its own good.

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u/TimeAdministration78 — 8 days ago

hi! just a bit of a rant about lamictal because ... oh boy. it's frustrating me bad right now.

i've been on 50mg of lamictal for around 5 years at this point for OCD/MDD/GAD (and suspected borderline...) and it's been amazing. literally cut my OCD symptoms in half. however, i've been having a rough time lately and decided to try upping my dosage to 75mg. i mean, so many people's bare minimum therapeutic dose is 100mg+ so i figured it'd help me a lot!

nope. immediate panic attacks and horrible anxiety. i tried splitting up the dosage and thought i might be alright for a couple days, but that horrible dread was getting worse. 6 days ago, i just went back down to 50mg because i couldn't stand it anymore.

the horrific anxiety continued for another couple days, but has mostly mellowed out. now, i just have been having horrible headaches, brain fog, fatigue, blurry vision, and dizziness. like what the hell??? my symptoms are gradually getting better, but i just don't know why it messed me up so bad. especially since i've seen people on as high as 900mg!!!!! everyone's bodies are insanely different, i guess. i'm just waiting for the weirdness to settle down and it's frustrating that time is really the only thing that can fix it. and lots of rest. which sucks since i'm in finals season rn 💀💀 ohhh medication how i love/hate you

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u/TimeAdministration78 — 11 days ago