I used to work as a moritcian and there is something funeral homes don’t tell you
I quit my job as a mortician a few years ago, and all the people who knew me are now dead, so I think it’s a good time to tell you a very well-kept secret.
But before I go into the main story, let me tell you why I became a mortician in the first place.
My grandpa's body was found inside his house, dead. It was presumed he had died two days before as that had been how long since he hadn't answered the phone.
My mother was in charge of the funeral arrangements, and per my grandpa’s request, the viewing would be in his house. He had also requested that he not be embalmed, for he found it unnatural.
And so the family gathered in his house, full of flowers to cover the stench of death. We all cried and wished we had just a little more time with him. The thing is, our wish came true much too quickly.
As one of my aunts approached his body, she screamed and ran out of the house. When we all turned to the direction of my grandpa’s body, he was sitting up. His gaze was distant, undisturbed by the hysteria his resurrection had caused.
Doctors explained to us that he could be a rare case of someone with Lazarus syndrome. Besides that, there wasn’t any other explanation. He didn’t live long after this incident. He would eat, sleep, and sometimes smile, but he never spoke again. It felt as if my grandpa had lost all that made him, well, into him.
By his second death, my mother ignored his previous wishes and had him embalmed. Some family members joked that we should put a bell on his tomb, just in case he woke up again. But I’m not sure how much of it was an actual joke.
His first and second death made me curious about what happens after. Was there an afterlife, did we re-encarnate, or did we just rot away into nothingness? The whole religious aspect of it bore me, but the process of death and how the body is handled after drew me in.
The turnover rate for morticians is rather high, so I felt especially proud when I obtained my Bachelor’s degree and was quickly accepted into an internship. I was stupid, I thought I was better than all those people who quit as soon as they realized a dead body is more than just a piece of meat. Now I realize they were the smart ones for leaving and finding any other profession in the world.
At the beginning of my internship, there were six of us. We were given some of the worst bodies to work with in order to weed out even more people. I almost quit when I had to reconstruct the face of a three year old girl who had been stabbed multiple times by her father. The mother still went with a close casket funeral, but she thanked us for making her baby whole once more.
By the end of the first year of internship, only two of us were left. The funeral director called us into his office, saying he needed to talk with us.
“Congratulations on completing your first year of internship,” the funeral director, Nave, sounded anything but happy.
“Thank you,” Jia and I said in unison.
He didn’t even look at us. He flipped through some paperwork and files. We just sat there unsure of what to do other than stare at each other. Outside the office, we could hear the creaky wheels of a gurney as someone transferred a fresh body into the fridges. I kind of hoped Nave would let us out soon. Being inside the office was much more nerve wracking than trying to find what body part belonged where after someone had fallen into a wood chipper.
“I need you both to stay overnight. Make the necessary arrangements. Today you will figure out why people don’t stay in the job. Now go,” Nave dismissed us as he handed us some papers,” And please make sure to sign all the paperwork”.
Jia made us both the exiliar of the gods, coffee, to prepare us for the night. The paperwork made no sense. Most of it was legal jargon related to death and keeping confidentiality. Whatever happened tonight, we couldn’t speak of it to anyone outside the people who worked there.
“What could be so bad we have to sign so many papers?” Jia asked.
“I have no idea. But I swear I just signed a paper giving the company the rights to my soul,” I joked.
“You still had one?” Jia laughed.
We finished our lunch of coffee and headed back to the prep room. Our laughter quickly died as Nave stood by four corpses ready for us to dig into. He took the papers from us, and his face somehow became more somber as he realized we weren’t backing out.
“This is your last chance to quit. There is no shame on it,” Nave looked directly at us.
“I’m staying,” my voice faltered but I tried to look confident.
“Me too,” Jia’s voice trembled.
He looked at us with pain in his eyes. At the time I was confused, but again, I wished I had taken the opportunity and left, but no, my pride kept me there, trying to prove a point that didn’t even exist.
“Diana, take the two bodies to the right. Jia, get the two bodies on the left,” Nave instructed.
We quickly took our positions, somewhat confused on why we were working on two bodies each at the same time. Their charts and all the sanitizing utensils were missing too. Jia and I looked at each other confused.
“Now, take their pulses,” Nave instructed.
“What?” I looked at him confused.
“Please, do as I say. And once you do, come sit with me. We’ll have a talk,” Nave said as he sat on one empty chair pointed towards the bodies.
Jia and I looked at each other and reluctantly went to do as told. I first grabbed the wrist of a slim woman who looked to be in her 30s. A shiver ran through my body as the coldness of death touched my warm fingers. I was careful to not damage the skin as I pressed down to feel for a heartbeat. And there was nothing. I let out a sigh of relief that I didn’t know I had been holding on to.
For the next body, I checked for a pulse from his neck, as both of his wrists had been damaged by some kind of knife. As I pressed down into his neck, I thought for a second that I felt a heartbeat. I backed away, knowing that was impossible. The rigidity of the body had started to go away as the muscles decomposed but rigor mortis had already stiffened the body, suggesting he had been dead for at least a day or two.
Nave looked at me, his eyes hiding something as he waved at me to go back to the body. I took a deep breath, trying to keep paranoia at bay. I didn’t allow my mind to wonder much as I pressed by hand into the corpse's neck once more. There was nothing. I almost laughed at myself for freaking out. I had probably felt my own pulse when I touched his neck.
Once done, Jia and I went to sit next to Nave, unsure of what to expect. For sure it wasn’t what he said next.
“Have you heard how Jesus came back to life three days after he was crucified?"Nave started.
We didn’t respond.
“Sorry, I’m just not sure how to explain this. It’s my first time explaining it to anyone,” he took a pause.
Jia and I looked at each other probably thinking the same thing, had Nave lost his mind? Should we get out of here while we still could?
“Diana. Jia. Tonight will either be a rather eventful night, or pretty silent. Let’s hope for the second and that you just think I lost it,” Nave laughed humorlessly.
The hours passed and we just sat there. Occasionally, I looked at my phone to doom scroll. Jia made us all a batch of coffee to make the sand of sleep fall from our eyes. The silence was bothering me, but when I tried to put on headphones, Nave made me take them off.
Then there was a sound, was that a groan? I looked at the bodies in front of us and then at Nave. Nave looked intensely at the bodies. His eyes darted from one body to the next. I trembled, unsure of what was going on.
And then another groan.
Nave reached down under his chair into a bag I hadn’t noticed before. He handed us each a knife and held one himself.
“Why do we-“ Jia stopped.
The man I had felt a pulse from earlier that night was not sitting up. He stared directly at us, but didn’t look at us. His gaze seemed to travel somewhere else. I had seen this before, many years ago, with my grandpa. My bladder wanted to give out at that moment. This couldn’t possibly be happening.
“You two, stab that man in the heart,” Nave ordered us.
“I’m not going to kill him!” I protested.
“Why is he alive?” Jia sobbed.
“He isn’t alive. Or not in the way you are thinking about it. Now, put him to rest,” Nave’s voice wavered as he tried to stay calm.
I’m not sure why I trusted him, but I started to walk towards the man that I knew had been dead just a few hours ago. As I approached, the man looked at me and gave the smallest smile. He then turned his gaze once more into whatever he was looking at and ignored me.
Jia attempted to approach but nausea overtook her and she ran towards the nearest trash bin to throw up. In all the time I had known Jia, she had never thrown up. She could easily have a meal in front of a fully open corpse.
My hands trembled as I tried to place the knife where the heart was located. My own nausea begged for me to run to the nearest trash bin. Instead I swallowed the vomit, trying to ignore the acidic aftertaste. I took a deep breath and steadied my hands, ready to plunge the knife into his heart.
As the first piece of skin broke, the man turned his head towards me and with impossible speed grabbed my arm. I screamed as I tried to pull my arm away. As the man’s expression turned into anger, he tried to bite my arm but I pushed his head away with my other arm. Jia and Nave ran towards me. Jia attempted to free my arm from his grip. I cried and begged the dead man to let go.
Nave somehow maneuvered the knife between the three tangled bodies and stabbed the man right through the heart. The man let go of my arm and slowly fell back into the gurney, leaving a bloody mess behind.
“I’m so sorry you had to experience this, but there was no other way. If I had tried to explain this, you wouldn’t have believed me,” Nave started to crumble.
After this, I’m honestly not sure why I stayed. Nave explained to us that some people would come back on the third day. And if Jesus had been real, then that was probably what had happened to him too. Some returned peaceful, others would attack immediately. One thing was for sure, they weren’t the same person they had been before death. And the best way to prevent this resurrection? Freezing and embalming the bodies. Our job was to prevent the dead from coming back, not prepare the bodies for the family to view.
We were given a choice, to stay at work or quit. We would be helped to find a new job if we chose to quit. The only thing we couldn’t do was talk about what had happened that night. The only ones who knew this secret were other morticians and it was better it stayed that way.
Both of us decided to stay. As terrified as I was about what had happened, I was also morbidly curious. At last, I was getting answers to what happens after death.
Nave died a few years later, he took his life, not being able to handle the pressure of the secret. I took over his position and trained new morticians. Jia was murdered by the husband of a woman whom he claimed Jia had killed when she “woke up again”.
Now here I am. No longer in the business but still burdened with the knowledge. I have seen loved ones go, and I have made sure they stay that way. Do what you want with this knowledge but I do warn you, they won’t come back the same. Let the dead people rest.