u/Throwoutaccountanr

Hey everyone i’m looking to loose fat and get nice and toned. I’m a trans man, any suggestions?

I need advice asap and what to do i’m really struggling with this

(Sexual themes)

At the time of this i had a mild concussion, The kind where you can’t focus, Thinking is slowed, And you feel foggy. I had my boyfriend over, Well call him Goose to keep me company. Goose is very very sexual and has a habit of sexualizing me always, whether i’m changing infront of him or not he’s always trying to grab my Ass. We were cuddling shirtless and i was kinda dozing when goose started kissing my chest, I pulled him back up to lay on me and we had an exchange like this-
“Should i stop?”
“yeah.. just cuddle”
After a while we started play fighting joking and i was saying that My Ass is mine and goose kept joking about “consequences” , I asked what he meant, he kissed me. I have no issues with kissing and what he’s about to do, He starts kissing my back and shoulders and it felt really nice because I didn’t feel sexualized it was just him kissing it better (My concussion is from sports and my backs been sore) and he started kissing down my back towards my Ass, goose said
“Can i take yoh pants off..? I don’t want to touch you i just wanna kiss your legs”
“Sure”
is how i replied, and the kisses felt nice till he started kissing around my thighs and between my legs i pulled him up just to lay on me and goose and i had a conversation that went like this-
“Can i touch you ..? i just want to distract you from your pain”
“we should check the time… i’m getting tired”
“I don’t want to fuck you i just want to make you feel good”
i was quiet for a moment
“sure”
“Are you sure? 100%?”
“Yeah”
I know i consented, but i was very uncomfortable and that is on me for not stopping him and i understand most of this is my fault that’s why i’m trying to get advice to figure out what to do, After this happens goose says
“Do you want to feel me for a bit? just to distract you and make you feel good”
my mind felt so cloudy by this point i just held him to my chest and he asked again
and i said
“no… i feel gross”
his reply and this conversation follows,
“Im sorry.. i only did it to make you feel good and distract you”
“you don’t have to touch me to make me feel good”
“i know i know but your not supposed to feel gross it’s just for you”
“I don’t know i’m sorry… we should’ve checked the time” (he had to leave soon)
“I told you the time when we started it was like ()”
“oh.. i don’t remeber i’m sorry”
“it’s okay but i know i did tell you the time”
I’m just quiet trying to figure out if i was actually crazy, i know i was foggy from the concussion but i wouldn’t have said sure if i knew the time because i need aftercare always i try to joke to make him feel better because he’s upset, and i joke about my butt being mine again, when he grabs my wrists and starts touching me again and i couldn’t fight him back, I told him to stop and he did but it was still terrifying, he soon had to leave because his parents picked him up but it’s been weighing on me since
I can’t tell if i’m crazy, if it’s my fault, or what to do because what i’ve written here is exactly how i remember it, but is my concussion impeding my memory??!! i don’t know what to do i just know im really disgusted with myself and dread seeing him