I’m pregnant with my ex’s children. Should I keep them or terminate?
My now ex boyfriend and I were together for 3 years before we broke up 4 months ago. It was a very toxic relationship. He was constantly lying, cheating, and never took accountability for his actions. We broke up for the last time 5 months ago. I left due to his suspected infidelity. I started missing him during no contact, and I messaged him suggesting we could try to be friends (stupid, I know). I went over to his house, and after hanging out for a couple of hours, one thing led to another and we had sex. Immediately after we were done, he told me he had a new girlfriend. I know I should have asked before, but I felt very betrayed and put into a position to be the other woman. We had a big fight and he said he never wanted to see me again and that everything we did was a mistake. I left his house took a plan b the next morning.
It’s one month later, and I recently went to the clinic and found out I’m pregnant with twins. I myself am a twin, and I was in complete shock to know that I was going to a mom of them. I’ve told some people about this. Half of them (mostly women) were very excited for me and want me to keep them despite my ex being totally foul, as they are essentially miracle babies. My guy friends told me that I’m potentially ruining my life keeping kids that are connected to a lying scumbag like my ex. I’m incredibly conflicted on what to do. I went through an abortion with the same ex a few years ago since I was still in school and we were long distance. It messed me up mentally and I still have not recovered from it. But I know that if I keep these kids, there’s a chance my ex will not want to support them financially. I don’t know if I can live with seeing him for the next 18 years. I don’t want him back and I don’t love him anymore.
I’ll be 30 in a few months, and I’m afraid I’ll be missing out on my opportunity to have kids in the future if I abort. I’ll be done with graduate school and entering a well paying field in the Summer. I can be a mom, I desperately want to be a mom, but I don’t know if it’s the right time for me. My head is spinning from all these thoughts. What should I do?