u/Thecynicalcatt

I'm very new to gardening. We have lots of tulips in our backyard thanks to the previous homeowners. My MIL passed away two years ago (on mother's Day)'and we bought some lilies to plant in our garden bed with a collection of rocks my kids and I decorated as a sort of memorial for nan. Unfortunately the lilies were eaten up quite promptly and I only realized later that they were an invasive species. Can someone suggest a perennial flower that is native to Ontario that I can plant in our little memorial? I would like something that grows back every may since that is when she died, also mother's Day and unfortunately also the month of her birthday. edited to add we planted those last year so we want to plant something new this year

Sorry for the long story. We've been NC with my MIL for more than a year after an argument that resulted in MIL saying hurtful, racist things to me and then doubling down months later. My husband spent months trying to talk to her and mend things, but the last time they spoke she was adamant she stood by her beliefs and that she wished she could go back in time (we have been married almost 15 years, two kids) and ensure he married a "good white Christian girl." That was the last straw for him even trying to mend things. Our kids have not seen her in a year. They have not spoken since last summer. His mom and dad divorced when he was young, dad is in long term care with brain damage, so MIL is the only parent in the lives of my husband and his 3 younger siblings - BIL is a step sibling. For a few months, we saw siblings in law, went to the beach had them over for BBQs and birthdays. No one talked about MIL. It bothered me a lot, but I let it go for sake of family. Then my BIL returned from working out on the coast for the summer and put a wrench in things. He refused to accept our boundaries on having MIL over to family events. He Said we were being unfair to her and refused to believe anything she said to me. We have emails and texts as proof, BIL refused to read them. Then my SILs chimed in, and started saying yes can we move past this and just go back to normal already? No how??? My husband and I tried to get them to come over so we could calmly talk able everything, BIL refused if we were going to "complain about MIL" so then the SILs didn't want to do it either. Any attempt at trying to communicate with them about this in person has been thwarted. The refusal to acknowledge the pain MIL caused me and my family was unreal. In November, BIL sent messages to me in a siblings chat that said some awful stuff like you're not family, MIL did so much for you (untrue) and this is how you repay her, etc. etc. This was after my daughter's biethday party. All of them were invited except MIL and that pissed him off because MIL called him to ask how the party went. So then I got upset and said some nasty stuff to him too. I instantly regretted it and sent them all an email and said I'm sorry about my messages last night they were uncalled for and I will not excuse them. All we want is acknowledgement of what MIL did and said, not for anyone to pick sides or join us, but just to acknowledge the harm and no one can or has done that so this is the last you will all hear from me. I deleted all my social media and went on a deep cleanse to focus on my own family and not that drama. Now months later things are great cor my little nuclear family, but there is tension with the siblings in law because my husband still talks to them but I do not which makes everything awkward. Sorry for how long this got, but with the summer and get together season approaching, should I just let this go and invite them over and act like everything is fine? Should I hold my ground and keep my distance? I feel guilty holding this boundary when my kids miss their aunts and uncle. I've never told them they can't come over or make plans with my husband and kids, but they legitimately never reach out. I used to make all our plans. My husband will reach out and say hey the kids miss you, want to do XYZ? There is always an excuse. He doesn't want to give up on them and I understand that it's hard. But it also feels like they just don't care about us? I guess the guilt is really getting to me because my own family doesn't live in Canada so we're very alone just the four of us. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.