u/TheRealCthulu24

Give the territory on its borders to the surrounding states.

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE JAZZER SAYS ABOUT YOU!

Louis Armstrong- You don’t know why I’ve just broken into your house and asked you at gunpoint what your favorite jazz artist is, as you don’t listen to much jazz.

Miles Davis- You’re basic.

Bill Evans- You’re racist.

Sun Ra- As a kindergartner, you were reprimanded for eating paper, an event that has haunted you for life. A career as a prolific drawer of furry smut awaits you. You can name every species of praying mantis, all 51 of them. 

Pharaoh Sanders- You don’t know shit about praying mantises. 

Alice Coltrane- You didn’t stop eating paper at kindergarten. In fact, as you read this, you’re currently eating the stuff. You do you, I guess.

João Gilberto- You constantly carry around a fanny pack full of important provisions such as trail mix. You’re disappointed that no one wants to use your Netflix password.

Herbie Hancock- Everyone laughs at your pointy shoes. “What are you some kind of elf?” they ask. Then, you kick them. They aren’t laughing after that.

Duke Ellington- You keep a shotgun beneath your bed in case someone with tattoos comes too close to your front lawn.

Kamasi Washington- Some asshole once shot you because you were near his front lawn. For the last six years, you’ve been planning your revenge. However, most of the years were you trying to remember where his house is.

Charles Mingus- You wear a bald cap wherever you go out because it increases the chances of being slapped atop the head- the most enjoyable aspect of living.

John Coltrane- You’ve been kicked out of eighteen Whole Foods stores, and you plan to make that number in the triple digits before you depart this green earth. Nothing brings you more satisfaction than opening the nut dispensers and watching the herd of cashews leap onto the ground.

Art Blakey- Fuck if I know.