u/TerribleGradients

Watch your deliveries 👀

Now that the weather has finally turned, you’ll be seeing more of them out. I just caught one trying to steal wipes — WIPES — off of my porch. Stupid dude didn’t realize how much of a hawk I am and got pushed off the steps only to get covered in dirt. It was the box size that attracted him most likely: cell phone shipping size, but it just contained wipes. Totally not worth getting dirt all over his gray hoodie.

Porch Pirates are also known for following Amazon trucks. They are bold and don’t give an eff if all they get are dog paw wipes.

Those with doorbell cameras are still at risk.

Anyways, be diligent by having all major deliveries sent to a safe place when possible — even your work. They’ll understand, I promise.