bad encounter with relative while with birth mom
context:
i was adopted at birth. my b-mom just turned 15 when she gave birth to me. she was forced by her father to give me up. i grew up with good parents, lost my a-mom at 10. so lived full time with my ultra present and loving dad since then.
when i turned 18, i got to talk and meet my mom and she has literally changed my life. i always had the desire to meet her, especially because i wanted to understand where i come from and why she had me so young).
our 1st meeting (almost 6 months ago) was very emotional and strange. i look like her. we laugh the same. we have so much in common; both nfl fans and die hard cinema fans.
what really hurt me is the part where she told me that she hid her pregnancy until she couldn't anymore because she knew her parents would force her to get an abortion. when she was 28 weeks, her parents learned and forced her to give me away. it broke her. she started doing drugs after to cope with her pain and her grief. she a drug problem until 2019.
she has a really nice job now, she lives 25 minutes away from me and we've been spending a lot of time together. i took a gap year after high school so beside my part-time job, i have a lot of free time lol.
anyway so on thursday, i had to go somewhere for a job delivery in my mom's hometown. it had been planned for two weeks so she said that she'd drive there and we could watch the nfl draft together in a spot she used to go with her friends when they wanted to watch the superbowl. it's a chicken wings spot basically.
so we're just sitting there and enjoying the night. at some point, my b-mom goes silent for two minutes and she's staring at something. i turn around and i realize it's a man in his 70s. and my b-mom just says: "that man is my father".
and knowing what she went through because of him, i didn't know how to react. and then my mom says that we had to go somewhere else. she stood up to pay and her father walked straight to her and began to give her shit. she hadn't talked to him since she stopped using (also when she started to do therapy with an adoption specialist because of her trauma).
then her father realized who i was and he began to yell at me saying that i shouldn't be with her. that she was a whore. my mom walked to her car and she couldnt move and she sobbed and cried for an hour. we were sitting in her car and i had to call my dad to come get my own car with my uncle. i drove my mom's car and we went to her place. since thursday night, she hasn't eaten. she is in her bed and she barely talk to me.
im very resentful and angry at her father who looked fucking unstable. i dont know what to do and i cannot leave her house because i'm afraid that she could relapse (idk if shes fragile, its not the kind of stuff we talk about). i am super worried for her. i love this woman so much; she has worked so hard on herself and she is such a treasure. im her only child, she is no contact w her whole family except two cousins who are also estranged from the family). her best friend came over tonight and she couldnt get a word from her either.