u/SwinPain

I was laid off from my warehouse job yesterday, the work was terrible, but at least it got me out of the house. I was saving up to move into my own place, and I’d finally got my overdraft down a bit, but now I've no way of doing that and I don't know how I can cope.

Context is I live with my mum who is often out. She picks at everything. I don’t know how else to describe it.. I'm never relaxed around her. Before I go out she stops me at the door and always finds something "wrong" with my look. It's now going to be just me and her in the house.

I've just had a massive panic attack, it felt like I couldn't breathe, I threw myself on my bed and the only one who was there when I came back up was my cat, he's great, he really knows me.

Now because of my anxiety I'm spending a lot of time indoors. I'm playing with linux and warhammer to distract me. I like the nerdy stuff because it reminds me of my dad, he loved painting the figures to show me them and he used to get me to hold PC bits while he fixed old computers, but I'm worried it's taking me away from the outside world even more. I've always been a bit nervous and shy but this feels like it's been getting worse. It's fun sometimes but I also feel very isolated, then I try to go out but when I'm out I don't feel any calmer!

But it's all just a distraction, when i think too much of my finances I feel the onset of another panic attack again!!

I don't know how it gets better but thank you for reading.