Recently I’ve done some reflecting on my childhood. And a memory came up that I never gave a second thought to before but adult me, is like that is not normal. Where did I learn that from at that age? It would also explain a few other things that I do not want to go into detail on. But I guess my question is can this happen to you and you just not remember it? But all the other signs are there when you look back as an adult.
Most of my childhood is a big blur. From 5th grade down. When we switched schools in 6th grade is when my memories started becoming clear.
I was recently talking with a family member and I was asking about my behavioral issues when I was younger. As an adult a lot of things didn’t add up for me and I was trying to figure out if I had some sort of repressed memory or trauma.
She told me my behavior outbursts started when I was about 6/7. Really young. She said they got so bad that my parents didn’t know how to control me or what to do. Here’s the kicker, I had no behavior outbursts at school or with anyone else. Which is what made me believe that I had some sort of repressed memory.
I remember being in the GATE program. I remember the cards. The headphones. The pink drink. I can go to my old elementary school and walk you directly to the little bitty closet type room that I was brought too.
I guess I’m wanting to know if there are other people who were in the GATE program that also had similar experiences. I have struggled even into adulthood with forming close relationships and strong emotional outbursts. Typically anger and blackout moments starting from a young kid. As an adult I have a good toolset that helps me stay grounded.
I’m interested to hear others experiences.
Edit 1: I’m editing to ask if anyone else has a sensitivity to sounds? For instance certain sounds just instantly trigger rage.