Books or other things to suggest to parents when you're sick of explaining yourself but not yet ready to walk away?
I'm low contact with my parents. Things are generally ok over the phone provided I don't call too often and we have lots of catching up to do. I have a 14 year old son. He's very family oriented and until recently I would invite my parents to visit for his sake, and to my best to run interference between their most toxic behaviors and him. Around 4 years ago, each of them separately crossed lines with essentially denying his agency, and he went from "when can we see Grandma and Grandpa again?" to stating he doesn't want to see them. The weight of obligation carried things for a while, but they keep being more and more judgemental and intrusive, and last Christmas I set a hard boundary and refused to let them visit. I'm definitely the scapegoat of my system, so this is being viewed as me being emotional, and they're continuing to ask if Im ready to have them visit again. I repeated my need for active steps towards change and they of course don't listen.
I'm wondering if, since I'm not yet ready to give up, if there is a book or something I can recommend that would explain why we break off contact for our own well-being, and talk about what they can do to take ownership and work towards real change? Cuz I don't even know what that looks like so it's hard to explain what I expect of them to heal.