u/Suspicious_Loan9195

I loved my wife more than anything. Still do. I’ve never loved anyone as much as her, nor have I ever gotten along with anyone as well, nor shared as deep a bond.

We had so many great memories. So many great conversations. So many great trips and travels, creative dates that were others’ envy, and she consistently felt like home. We had shared interests, shared beliefs, shared humor, and a shared worldview. She was my person. My best friend. Whenever I envisioned my perfect partner - she was it.

But two months ago she walked out the door with no goodbye, no closure, no explanation and blocked off all contact. That very morning she told me how much she loved me and thanked me for being a great partner.

Over the next couple months, I used the time to self-improve and focus on change, reflecting on what went wrong and how I could be better.

I got a marriage coach, quit drinking, enrolled in therapy, watched hundreds of hours of relationship YouTube videos, joined accountability groups and workshops, hit the gym, meditated, practiced emotional regulation and communication techniques, read books, created a Google drive tracking goals, notes, self improvement, and created an action plan of how I could be a perfect husband if we ever were to reconcile…but I didn’t get the chance.

I wasn’t a perfect husband, but I still tried my best to show up for my wife, to meet her needs, to support her emotionally, to listen patiently, to give her pep talks when she was feeling down, to shower her with love and appreciation, to treat her with respect and understanding, and to encourage her to always keep her chin up and look for the bright side - to always have something to look forward to.

(Anyone who I’ve been DM’ing over the last couple of months knows just how deeply I love my wife firsthand)

Our marriage had its hurdles but I always stood by her side. I chose to stay and love her even when it was hard to do. I always saw the best in her, even at her worst. Loving her at her best was easy. And even now - though this may be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and she’s caused me tremendous pain - I still love her and most likely always will.

And as hard as it is to put an end to our life together, this is clearly what she wants so I need to respect her decision and move on. Maybe we’ll reunite someday further down the line as different people and try out a second chapter.

But for now I just wanted to say thank you to this subreddit for the support. The people I’ve met here have been incredible - some I’ll likely continue to be friends with for some time. Through this sub I’ve met friends I consistently talk on the phone with, friends who I check-in daily with to hold each other accountable in our self-improvement goals. Through this sub I joined a What’sApp support group, and followed many of your stories closely as they developed.

Unfortunately this appears to be the end of mine but I truly wish you all the best. I still believe love is worth fighting for. True love, and a special connection is rare - hold onto it closely, respect it, you may not get another chance.

I loved my wife more than anything. I’ve never felt the way I did about her about anyone, nor shared such a deep connection with. She was my everything and I feel like I consistently showered her with love, supported her emotionally, and was there for her whenever she needed me. Whenever I envisioned my perfect person - she was it.

However, she walked out on me a couple of months ago - completely blindsiding me. No conversation about what went wrong. She was in a dark place but had always ensured me it was an internal issue, and nothing to do with us, nor our relationship. I tried my best to encourage her during this time - to get out of bed, form a routine, get her feet back on the ground. The morning before she left she even told me how much she loved me and ruminated on shared memories. Then left, no goodbye, no closure, and blocked off all contact.

I took the couple of months to look inward and reflect. I got sober, hired a marriage coach, enrolled in weekly therapy, got a stack of marriage/self-help books, watched hours of videos on YouTube, went to the gym and meditated daily, joined accountability groups, practiced emotional regulation and communication techniques, and created a multi-document large Google drive of an action plan to be a better husband in every way I could think. I even committed to 100% loyalty, even though I knew she quickly moved on.

But it wasn’t enough. I was never enough. Even now, we have no contact except through attorneys. And it’s done. Nearly 10 years of great memories, creative dates, stimulating conversations, and feeling like I had finally found my person…gone in the coldest way possible. Just an absolute nuke where I’m left questioning whether any of that even happened or if it was just an incredible dream that ended in a nightmare.

- I believe in doing everything you can to save your marriage, even if all you can do is look inward, reflect, and work on yourself while giving your spouse time and space. Just because the honeymoon phase is over doesn’t mean you fell out of love. Marriages, like any relationship, require hard work and consistently showing up.

- I believe in second chances, especially if your spouse takes accountability and is committed to the hard work to change.

- I believe unless you address difficult problems head-on they’ll continue to follow you whether you stay or go. You can’t put out a fire by walking away. It will only continue to spread.

- I believe you can leave the door open without waiting in the doorway. You can remain open to reconciliation without putting your life on pause - focusing on yourself genuinely without doing so only as a performative measure to get your partner back.