u/Sure-Service39

I have asperger's syndrome and I've been through some crap. I went through the foster care system, went through hell before that, and have been rejected time and time again, yeah, I've been with my adoptive (and true family) since I was 8, but it's hard to figure out which is the mask and which is ME. Sometimes I worry if I truly AM deep, empathetic, and caring, or if it's just a facade.

My greatest fear is that the person I think I am isn't who I am, I don't want to be like the people who hurt me, but everyday I fear I'm making the same choices they did. My own mother (adoptive) says I don't have empathy because I can't explain HOW I have empathy.

When I try to explain my original characters or stuff I'm interested in, people tease me and don't understand how much they mean to me, tehy treat them like jokes. I keep a smile and go along with it but it hurts. I've spent my enitre life trying to make people like me in fear that they would reject me again, gurt me again, hell, I even tried to dim that damn spark in my soul and let the inky black darkness consume me (not suicide, just shutting off my emotions, it's metaphorical), but no matter how badly I wanted to... I couldn't, because everytime I tried, I would remember something I promised myself when I was younger, that I would become the safe space for others the way I never got as a kid.

I know it's unhealthy, always giving and recieving nothing, but it feels wrong to do it any other way. I try and try so hard to be good, to be loved, to be worthy of all this stuff life have given me, but I don't, everyday there's that voice in my head telling me I'm not enough, that I'm an idiot, that I'll never be understood by anyone, that, no matter how much my family loves me, I'll always, ALWAYS be alone. I don't want to be alone, I want to love, I want to connect, but I hesitate, overthink, hell, I'll even outright just contain MY opinions, MY feelings just to make people like me, I know it's unhealthy but... but... I don't know how to stop it...

I don't want to self-diagnose myself, but I have reasearched this, and i think I suffer from autistic burnout, but I'm not sure though. Also, I'm pretty sure that containing my rage is beginning to take it's toll because I get irritated by little things and my eyes, fingers, and muscles twitch, my rage wants out so bad, a couple years ago, I had a problem with punching walls, I'm done with that, but now I have no outlet because I feel like no one will understand!!!

Just real quick and not trying to start fights or anything, just voicing my opinion in a form of a question: Does anyone else think Tangle x Whisper feels... forced?
To me it feels society is indirectly pressuring the IDW writers and Sega, but that's my opinion, not saying their not compatible, they are, and I'd still read the series if they were together, but I think it feels a bit forced.

Hey y'all, turns out AI images aren't allowed, so my previous post got deleted, but never fear! I'll just put the images in the Grammarly/Google Docs and y'all can see them there!!!
I'll also re-post the links to the Grammarly docs and if anyone needs a google doc link instead, just let me know!!!

https://coda.grammarly.com/d/Storm-the-Porcupine_dMKQGAp6Rre
https://coda.grammarly.com/d/Skyla-the-Porcupine_dIsp5J4iLeT

(fyi, these are NOT purely AI generated, I wrote them then used Grammarly's AI assistant, just thought I'd mention that!)

Okay so, this isn't really about an OC, but I think this is hilarious:

So, all my life up until I was 15, I believed Amy Rose was a guinea pig!
Look, here me out!!! I thought that hedgehog characters needed their quills to be like Sonic or Shadow's!!! I now know she's a hedgehog (that's why I always ask people what species their OC's are if it's not explicitly stated xD)