u/SugarLace162

How do you find a compatible partner when you can't be honest about your beliefs ? i come from a super religious household that borders on extremism, if they ever find out im not a muslim you'll hear about me on the news in a new honor killing story xD i pray and wear hijab and do all the muslim things to avoid suspicion, but in the end i dont believe in islam

but when it comes to marriage i dont wanna deceive someone by acting religious when im not, and i also want to find someone who has similar beliefs to me, but discussing such beliefs is super dangerous and impractical for many reasons :

1- if he runs his mouth and tells my family about it i might get killed

2- most men in algeria think that a woman not being muslim makes her a cheap easy 304 who's down too do anything

3- if i do find a decent man who has the same beliefs as me, he has to do the same thing i do and pretend to be super religious so my family accepts him ..

i'm a little lost tbh and i'd love to know if anyone else has been in the same situation as me and ended up marrying the right person in the end

as a kid i always said i never wanna get married and i hate marriage and its disgusting etc

but now its all i can ever think about.. ever since i turned 19 i cant get it off my mind and its driving me a little bit more insane every year. im not sure how others are completely fine with waiting till 25 or even 30 to get married. at first i thought it was just a phase but i think its turning into a mind consuming obsession

how can i know if a man is truly "maanly" and not pretending ? most arab men act "manly" cuz thats what they were told to do, and some of them are really good at acting and they get married and then their wife finds him taking pics of himself wearing her liingerie and sending them to guys .. some men also promise their fiancé that he's gonna show her a good time in bed and after marriage she finds out he has ضعف و برود

اكبر كابوس عندي هو ان اتزوج راجل و بعد الزواج يظهر عكس الشخل اللي عرفته قبل

خاصة انو في مجتمعاتنا يشجعون الاشخاص على ان صورتك في المجتمع هي اهم حاجة

for example a guy could feel forced to act like he's manly and dominant but in reality he wants to be submissive in a relationship (nothing wrong with that)

i'm not sure what to believe anymore cuz if its true then i want nothing to do with men ever and i'd rather die single ... it also feels dehumanizing to men and portrays them as less than human and purely controlled by lust