Hi, I (M28) am dating my partner (F22). We don't even live together yet, but we've been together for almost two years now. She's Catholic, I’m more of a deist (I believe in God but not in any religion, and I believe God doesn’t intervene in the world),
I’m not American and I don’t live in the US—I’m Latino. I haven’t brought up the subject with her yet. The idea of polygamy has been on my mind for years. I know it’s not the right time yet. We’re currently planning to move in together, and I plan to propose to her at some point. I already know she’s the right one; I want the confirmation of a life together, and only because she’s still very young do I want to give her time to mature.
But at some point, I want to have this conversation with her. What advice would those of you who have already done this give me?
My motivation, as you might guess, isn’t religious or cultural;
for me, it’s a matter of family. I have this mental image of an extended family. We’ve already talked about having children and getting married, and I’ve told her many times that I see myself with more than 12 children.
I’m asking because I don’t want to hurt her. In fact, if it’s healthier for us not to practice polygamy, I’d accept that, because I’d rather she be happy. It wouldn’t make sense to me to ruin my chance of starting a family with her over such an ambitious plan.
Another thing I’m unsure about is whether it’s right that I haven’t mentioned it to her yet; I think I should tell her before I propose, so she marries me knowing where I stand.