advice? left abusive relationship, want to go no contact but i took our child and filed for custody
I feel like everything would be so much easier if I didn’t have a child with him. I have stayed in contact because I like the idea of him being there for his kid and then having a relationship cause his dad seems to want to be in his life. the first few weeks he was a no show for appointments when be said he’d be there. he has always expressed any kind of emotion and wanting/love for me first then our child. dispite leaving while he was out with a go bag and our toddler and going to a DV shelter.
my problem is that it took some months for him to be served with custody papers and I felt like i was really being a bit too giving to him in fear for his reaction after finding out i want custody etc and he has money and he’s vindictive so of course it could end badly?
i feel like he’s become so used to not needing to work on himself and be decent for anything in life he’s really delusional and absolutely would benefit from seeing a doctor, specifically a psychiatrist but any doctor would be good at this point. i don’t feel great about the way he is and him being around our child and him having a dad that doesn’t respect boundaries, doesn’t get consequences, doesn’t do what he says he’s going to do, everything is someone else fault.
obviously everything in his life is fucked cause i left him alone in that house and won’t let him see his kid whenever random time he wants. he sees him more than i feel is right
i just feel that not feeling like im able to block him completely because i need all the evidence in case he takes me to court, and he needs to see his kid etc. and it’s holding me back, im not growing and healing the way i feel like i could be. it’s like i have a good few weeks maybe and then something, some interaction with him keeps me stuck in the kind of place i left physically and need mentally.
he usually calls me 10-20 times a day, sometimes 100-200. he has pulled many attention seeking episodes and so much drama and bullshit and circles and waste of time and energy all because i want him to try to help himself and take care of himself so he can be good and get a job and be a decent person and dad for our child?
he spends so much money, everything he says is another lie of a lie. he barely has any relationship with his family by choice he doesn’t care to call anyone and has no friends he’s in contact with, hasn’t seemed to make any new friends since 2022 when we moved in (i wasn’t allowed to make friends and all my then friends were against me and not to be trusted and over time i was left with nothing. he never let me get a job, i lost touch with reality also being so isolated and now i am starting over with nothing, and a toddler. But at least now I have the chance to do something with my life. and it’ll feel good knowing how hard i worked for everything. and and he is so irresponsible and unbearable and it’s so stressful. i need this out of my life i need to get better.
advice on going no contact? is there a better sub for this? lmao sorry for the rant idk who is going to read that