Trying to move past the bad things that my (M-18) patner (F-19) has done to me in the past. Would breaking up or talking to her about it in hopes of moving out be better suited?
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for just over a year now, throughout this there’s been some really rocky patches. I’ve been cheated on multiple times mostly through a single rough period spanning almost 6 months aswell as just some other things like gaslighting and the lies and harassment/manipulation that comes with cheating. Whilst it’s been over and forgiven with for a month or so now it still sits with me. I don’t feel like I can be honest or happy 100% of the time with her because of these things, aswell as the countless trust issues that come with being away from her.
For reference, I still love this girl and she always holds a special place in my heart especially cause I’ve seen how she can be when she’s out of that dark place. It’s just slowly growing on me on all these things that have happened in the past, whilst I forgive her for it I just can’t get out of my head and always ponder if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who’s capable of doing things like that to me. She’s my first serious long term relationship and I’ve just never been sure of myself if this is a normal or acceptable thing that can work out in the longterm. She also smokes(weed), which originally I never really had a problem with but as of recent she’s kind of had an obsession of glorification of it mostly cause of her stoner girl-friend. It’s somewhat concerning. I know she’d probably quit in the long term especially if kids are in the picture but it’s kind of a concerning behaviour and from the start I’ve always been raised to avoid people like that.
Regardless I just want some guidance and opinions on the issue, it’s becoming a more occurring problem with my mental health and she’s starting to noticing effect it has on me too, but I tend to avoid talking to her about it to try not spark or bring anything back up.