Got pregnant on the first try… now I’m terrified and second-guessing everything
My husband (31M) and I (30F) have been married for 3 years. For a long time, we’ve gone back and forth about having kids — some days we wanted them, other days we weren’t sure at all.
Last month, we kind of spontaneously decided to try… and I got pregnant on the first try. I honestly didn’t expect it to happen that fast.
Now I’m completely overwhelmed. My husband is too. We’ve told a few people already, but deep down I feel so conflicted. Some days I feel excited, but other days I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake. We are in a great position financially, physically and emotionally to have a child but I’m so fucking scared.
I’ve even had moments where I think about avoiding the whole situation (getting an abortion) and telling people I miscarried, which makes me feel awful just typing out. The anxiety has been intense — like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It doesn’t feel like me at all.
What’s confusing is that growing up, I always wanted kids. I even work in education and spend all day with children… but for some reason, this feels completely different, and instead of excitement, I mostly feel fear.
I guess I’m just looking to know… am I alone in feeling like this?