Title: Meth addiction, anxiety, and feeling like I’ve lost who I was — need advice I’ve been using meth since I was 16, I’m 24 now. The last 2 years it’s gotten really bad — honestly embarrassing. I barely go out anymore because I’m constantly worried about what people think of me. The anxiety and
Title: Meth addiction, anxiety, and feeling like I’ve lost who I was — need advice
I’ve been using meth since I was 16, I’m 24 now. The last 2 years it’s gotten really bad — honestly embarrassing. I barely go out anymore because I’m constantly worried about what people think of me. The anxiety and paranoia are next level, and the meth mouth + smoking just makes me feel disgusting and self-conscious.
I’ve put a lot of stress on my family, and they don’t deserve that. I feel like a burden and hate the way I act sometimes — messy, shut off, not myself at all. Earlier this year I even tried to take my own life. I didn’t succeed, but part of me still struggles with that.
Another thing I’m dealing with is a porn addiction that gets worse when I’m using. It’s honestly embarrassing and not who I used to be at all. Even when I’m sober now, I still feel messed up in my head — like I’m overly aware of myself, paranoid, on edge, or just not comfortable around people.
What’s frustrating is I don’t even use as heavily as I used to — maybe every couple of weeks now — but the mental side (especially psychosis and anxiety) hits me way harder than before. Even when I’m sober, I don’t feel normal. Social situations feel impossible, like I don’t fit in anywhere anymore.
I used to be confident, funny, social — just a completely different person. Now I feel like I’ve lost that version of myself. Talking to people is hard whether I’m sober or using, because I’m always thinking they’re judging me or grossed out by me.
I know the obvious answer is to quit completely, but it’s not as easy as just saying that. I’m really trying to change and I’m sick of feeling stuck like this.
I guess I’m just looking for advice, or stories from people who’ve been through something similar and managed to turn things around. How did you get past the mental side of it? How did you rebuild your life and confidence?
Any help would mean a lot.