First- I am 5'2 and weight 290lbs. I feel complete shame snd embarrassment in my body. It has been worse lately when I realize that after going to orangetheory 5 times a week for the last 14months I've had almost no change in my body. My a1c even jumped way up. (I've been working with a dietician on my nutrition. My body is stubborn it seems.). So I am trying new things to see if I need a different style of exercise (dietician and MD suggest maybe the HIIT of OTF is not right for me).
So....to the point of this post. A couple weeks ago I decided to try out solidcore. Idk why, was curious i guess since I see so many tikoks about it. My first class I felt so unsafe doing lunges and my shame and embarrassment triggered a fight or flight response. I panicked and walked out of class crying. Then felt ashamed for leaving and hating my body even more. Its been a mental struggle.
Today I finally went back to try again. Same coach as before. I struggled every second. I wanted to leave during the crossback lunges but I figured out how to feel safe. I did maybe 3 reps on each side. But I finished the class. I took breaks every 3-5 reps through the whole class. But I FINISHED! I am going back Monday.
I am going decrease orangetheory to twice a week and sign up for an 8 classes a month solidcore.
Thanks for reading this dribble internet strangers. I have no one to talk about this with.