Husband is anti nanny…
When our child turned 4 months old, we made the decision that I would return to work part-time fully remote. During this time, I would world during nap times and entertain the baby while working. At the beginning of the year, I was asked to return full-time and in office once a week (the dream work set up), I knew I would not be about to work and care for our baby as my job is mostly on the phone. So I suggested we hire a nanny. My husband firmly believes a woman’s role should be to care for the house and children and did not want a nanny. Unfortunately for him, I like working and I love being a mom so I chose to do both. We hired someone who comes to our house 3 days a week and let me tell you. She is amazing. She has saved my sanity more times than I can count. My husband is not okay that I work but is constantly making comments that I am not a present mom or that our nanny is raising the baby. This is extremely defeating and makes me second guess myself. I have had multiple conversations with him about how this makes me feel but every time the conversation gets shut down by him and we do g talk about it more.
How should I approach this with him? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
For context: my husband’s uncle had a full-time nanny 7 days a week who raised his children and the kids turned out with issues. His ex-wife was a wild card and from my husband’s family, she chose work over family. I think my husband is scared this will happen to us.
My husband also works for a family business making good money. He could fully support us but I worked hard for my career. Maybe that makes me selfish but it makes me happy.