u/Striking-Kiwi-417

Ok so, I'm not going to get into the entire history or anything ridiculous, but...

I've slowly been realizing that arguments or intense discussions are the only way I feel connected to people.

So even though I might love people, I won't feel remotely connected to them... even if we do or have a conversation others might find 'intimate'.

I'm a bit worried about this. I do feel like I need to change it... and I'm wondering if anyone else has ever been through this and fixed it?

I knew I needed discussions, and tried to implement something similar in my last relationship... but it didn't work.

This is stressful for my loved ones- as I feel lonely and disconnected, when they feel happy/content/connected... It also means that the amount of connection and lack of loneliness are really hard to satisfy, because it's not just arguing with anyone that makes me feel connected either.

I want to change, but not really sure how to adjust this!

To describe more: 'mainly due to their misogyny' - I don't mean consciously hating women. I mean due to their general views of women, bestowed on the by society that have gone unchecked and unchallenged.

Reasons being:

1. Most of those jokes made by women, would/do get a massive laughs when repeated by men. Men will claim 'it's the delivery', but I argue that it's the fact that due to the views of women, they are missing the context clues that are making it funny. (similar to how many men can't tell when a woman is or is not interested in them).

2. When a woman delivers a more dry joke, the number of men who proceed to explain to her why what she said is ridiculous- when the joke was the fact that it was ridiculous. (These men are inherently assuming the woman wasn't smart enough to grasp the very concept that she understood well enough to then make ridiculous on purpose.)

3. Jokes are dependant on having similar context of something. Many of these men, have made it their life's mission to never have empathy or understanding for the female experience... so even if the woman is joking about a universal experience that man is still unable to consider than he may have the same experience, no matter how it's worded (this also lends itself to men laughing if another man repeats the joke, and blames 'the delivery', when it was really the mouth in which did the delivering.

4. It's threatening. The focus on women being a resource to be obtained and 'won over' gets harder if that woman is more funny than them... they have less to offer.

5. Ultimately it's about objectification, and objects can't have real personalities.