u/StoryWriter31

I've been ill of burnout for 2,5 years now, since sept 2023, completely dysregulated and then I lost my health, social life, hobby's and job. All I had left was my relationship of 9 years. I lived with him, bought a home together, we wanted to spend our lives together.

I started to get a bit better, felt more like myself (instead of shell), could even say out loud I loved myself. But then I found a lump in my thyroid and it has to be examined if it was cancer. You can imagine my anxiety increased and my progress was lost.

It turned out to be benign and I tried to But my boyfriend lost his faith in our future and started to have serious doubts, and when he expressed them to me (Feb 2025), my whole nervous system detected mortal danger. I became extremely hypervigilant and I couldn't work on myself anymore. I was constantly scared and most of all, my nervous system couldn't rest anymore.

I lost all my motivation for life, could only live in order to not lose my partner, and my self-worth decreased more and more. Until 10 weeks ago, Jan 29th, he broke up with me. I'm going through hell ever since, feeling completely worthless and a burden to everyone.

My friends are there for me. With one of them I watch a baking show online, and this evening I did that again - but I became completely hypervigilant again. And that scared the shit out of me. I thought it was reserved for my ex only, but I had it with my friend, and I became totally stressed and panicking and now I'm afraid I will never be able to heal...

And now I started to get depressed because it is just way too much to handle. My GP suggested antidepressants but I'm really scared because of the side effects, the difficulties to get off antidepressants and also the impact it can have on my intimate life in the future (because I read many horror stories about that, especially that it can be permanent). I tried escitalopram about a year ago, but it didn't help me and getting rid of it was difficult even though I didn't take it that long.

So we all know (SPOILER) that >!Snape died. But the way it happened is just... so convenient. It has always bothered me. Why wouldn't Voldemort just Avada Kedavra him? Especially since it was all about the wand. Why let Nagini do the work? Why not be SURE that it is very clear to the elderwand that he overtook the ownership? It just feels like... it was the only way for Harry to receive the memory in a dramatic fashion.!<Which I don't love.

I've been ill of burnout for 2,5 years now, since sept 2023, completely dysregulated and then I lost my health, social life, hobby's and job. All I had left was my relationship of 9 years. I lived with him, bought a home together, we wanted to spend our lives together.

I started to get a bit better, felt more like myself (instead of shell), could even say out loud I loved myself. But then I found a lump in my thyroid and it has to be examined if it was cancer. You can imagine my anxiety increased and my progress was lost.

It turned out to be benign and I tried to But my boyfriend lost his faith in our future and started to have serious doubts, and when he expressed them to me (Feb 2025), my whole nervous system detected mortal danger. I became extremely hypervigilant and I couldn't work on myself anymore. I was constantly scared and most of all, my nervous system couldn't rest anymore.

I lost all my motivation for life, could only live in order to not lose my partner, and my self-worth decreased more and more. Until 10 weeks ago, Jan 29th, he broke up with me. I'm going through hell ever since, feeling completely worthless and a burden to everyone.

My friends are there for me. With one of them I watch a baking show online, and this evening I did that again - but I became completely hypervigilant again. And that scared the shit out of me. I thought it was reserved for my ex only, but I had it with my friend, and I became totally stressed and panicking and now I'm afraid I will never be able to heal...

Can it get better? I feel so terrified...

Due to my (F29) fear of abandonment I became ill with burnout/dysregulated nervous system 2,5 years ago, which meant I couldn't work, couldn't play sports, couldn't see my friends and family and was completely homebound. I also explain my illness as if my nervous system is a fire alarm that is too sensitive, seeing danger everywhere. I worked on myself a lot though, was even able to say out loud that I loved myself after a year, but then I relapsed.

My partner (M31) of 9 years (who I lived with in our own house) has avoidant tendencies and couldn't deal with my illness. After my relapse, he told me he had serious doubts.

My nervous system completely spiralled and responded as if I were in mortal danger. In the past year, all my progress got lost and everything I did was in order to get better so he wouldn't leave me. I was in hypervigilance, constantly scanning whether he was happy or stressed.

Two months ago he broke up with me and it just tearing me apart completely. He was my only source of safety, and I literally feel like I'm dying. I have never felt worse about myself, my life and my future. I have several therapists at play but I struggle to wake up every morning and just finish the day, because everything hurts so much and I can't catch a break because of my illness (which also increases anxiety, btw - that's exactly what my illness is, and extreme exhaustion). I miss him so much, I've lost literally everything I build up before my illness and I just... I don't know what to do anymore.

I know he did and said hurtful things throughout our relationship and especially in my illness, but I also know he tried his all to stay with me because he loved me too. But I lost everything, everything that made me feel safe and like I belonged somewhere, and now I just feel completely worthless and scared and with unbearable agony constantly... My illness took literally everything from me and I don't know how to live life feeling so completely terrible.