Why is that almost comforting?
When I first discovered what my husband was doing, his best friend told me he thought my husband was a sex addict. They’ve been best friends for 22 years. He said something out loud that I’d only thought to myself… so ya being the two people that likely know my husband best, I knew my suspicions were true.
I didn’t know as much about sex addiction and sex addicts as I do now 🥴 to the point, when I began researching the question was “how does someone become a sex addict?” That lead me to answers like, early exposure to pornography, child sxual asault, childhood trauma, etc. I immediately asked my husband if he had experienced sexual trauma as a child, he said no.
Well, meeting with his CSAT to go over the disclosure process specifically creating the timeline, triggered a memory for my husband, and he was absolutely a victim of CSA and COCSA. I already knew my husband was physically abused by his father as well.
All the to ask, why has this discovery and him sharing it with me, brought me comfort in this process?? I feel evil, like it took something horrible having to happen to my husband as a child for me to have some sense of peace around what’s happened?!? I’m filled with so much empathy for him. Is this the new normal? Will it be apart of my never ending rollercoaster of emotions. I feel like I’m carrying double the emotional weight now. Ugh.