u/Status-Temperature74

The title is essentially the question, but here's a little background & timeline:

My soon-to-be ex husband and I filed for divorce in September 2025.

In November 2025, I had a routine physical. When I was at the doctor's office, they were having trouble verifying my insurance via the information that I provided, and I said maybe I have the wrong number, the number from my old plan when I was taking insurance through my job instead of his. I thought they had resolved it but in early December-ish, I received a bill for over $300 for this routine annual visit.

Fast forward to March 2026, my attorney asked me if I was still on his plan or if I have gotten my own coverage (this was relevant to the financial affidavit process). I said I believe he has removed me from coverage, but I missed my open enrollment period so I will have to wait until the divorce is finalized to in order to get back on the coverage with my employer. They respond saying that he informed his attorney that he still has me on his coverage and will continue to do so until the divorce is finalized. I tell me attorney that, in that case, it is confusing that I received a $300+ bill for a physical. That was the end of the conversation.

Fast forward to today, May 2026, I was supposed to have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. They ask me to confirm my appointment and to provide my insurance information to update their system. I tell them I will have to check and see if I have the card at home, and if not I will have to reschedule (to avoid another situation like my doctor's visit). They ask if I know which insurance company it is. I tell them the company and explain that it my husband's plan, we are separated, and I have no access to information online to look it up. Then they ask who is his employer. I tell them where he works. They are able to look it up for me and inform me that my coverage term ended on October 31, 2025.

So my question is, is he allowed to remove me from health insurance coverage without my knowledge or without discussion? Although there sort of was discussion, in March, when he said that I am still covered even though I'm now finding out that I actually was removed in October? But as of March he told his attorney that I am still covered? Not sure there is any action to take and it likely won't affect the divorce anyways, but I'm almost fuming that I have unknowingly been without health, dental, and vision insurance for over 6 months.

I have been inconsistently working on a creative writing story that I hope to turn into a full novel some day. The main character's plot revolves around her recovery from hard drugs (I haven't decided on her drug of choice, was leaning towards meth?) and I want some of the story to be set in her rehab facility.

1. Is there such a thing as court ordered rehab?
2. Would love insight on the admission and discharge process, as well as typical length of stay (or is that determined by the individuals ability to complete the "program"?)
3. What kinds of therapies/activities would she be required to do at this place, and do these things differ between patients depending on what they are addicted to?
4. What happens when someone is discharged back into the free world? Do they receive any assistance for housing or employment? Do they have a PO? Do they have a "sponsor" of sorts or go to NA meetings to stay clean? (the point of her rehab plotline is that she does stay clean after this stint in rehab; it isn't her first time there)

Thank you

I (29F) moved out of my [our] house last July. My stbx is 30M. When I moved out, it was supposed to be just to get space for a little bit to figure out what I was missing in the marriage/what needed to change/why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I realized very quickly after removing myself from his presence that I wasn't going to go back and would not be able to reconcile any romantic connection that we once had. I expressed this to him pretty quickly after asking for space - within a couple weeks.

We went to one joint therapy session in the initial separation stage, but we had spoke on the phone prior to the session and were in agreement that the purpose of the session was more for understanding & closure on the ending of our relationship rather than trying to discover a path to move forward together. Once we are in the session, he did a 180 and made the counselor think that we were there to reconcile the marriage. It was actually humiliating and, I try to avoid using the term gaslighting, but I felt gaslit the entire excruciating hour. I got pressured into scheduling a follow-up session on the spot. I later cancelled the appointment and respectfully conveyed my feelings to him about the matter, which were that it was a waste of time and money (couples counselling is rarely covered by insurance because therapists can only bill insurance when there is a medical diagnosis) when I had already firmly made up my mind.

Fast forward to early September. He files for divorce. This was shocking to me, not because it isn't what I wanted, but because filing divorce papers is the only thing in his entire life that he has done in a timely fashion. This is where Reason #97 comes in. There was never a follow through. On anything. Always an elaborate plan. Always big words and stories and hopes and goals. Never an execution. So it was surprising to me that he actually accomplished a task in a somewhat timely manner.

Anyways, the reason I am getting so irritated is that is that our divorce is fairly cut & dry. We are young, no major assets or accounts besides our house (which my mom majorly helped us with), no children or pets, no debts. Because my mom helped us so much with the down payment on the house, the verbal agreement between him, her, and myself was that I would keep the house and my mom would then purchase the house from me.. Neither he nor I can afford the mortgage on our own, and selling the house traditionally on the market, after all the fees and closing costs, would've caused a loss of about $35,000 of my money and her money (he would've lost very little because he contributed very little). However, as I mentioned above, he is incapable of completing tasks by their deadline. We are approaching month 8 of paying a mortgage for a house in which neither of us are currently living. I am waiting on him to sign ONE document that states that he gets his down payment money back once he signs, and then he would also be able to stop giving me any money for the payment (I've asked for 40% of the payment, so I pay 60% plus all utilities). My frustration is, WHY is he not eager to get his check and stop giving me money???? It makes no sense to me. The aforementioned document was received by him/his attorney over 2 months ago. So my attorney and I have just been twiddling our thumbs for like 9 weeks waiting for him to return it. It's ridiculous. I finally had to text him last week and point out that dragging this along is costing us both money and that I would like to see some forward motion after this 2 month standstill due to his negligence.

Makes me wanna yell!!!! Just venting. I know this process is not always necessarily quick by any means, and I know the amount of time that has passed is nothing compared to what some experience when going through a divorce, but due to the lack of assets to be divided (we are each keeping what is respectfully ours), this could've been wrapped up months ago if it weren't for his untimeliness. It was the same in our marriage - never ever kept his promises or did what he said he was going to do. I'll be so glad when I am no longer tied to him. Also as I was typing this I realized that Monday was our anniversary and I feel nothing... so I guess that's a definite sign that I made the right decision.

Anyways hope everyone is having a good day today, tomorrow, and the next.