u/Standard-Compote-275

Lets just say ive been suffering from something most people dont have knowledge about. I also suffered abuse from family but no one takes it too seriously or believes me. Ive wanted justice for this because Ive had to carry this weight for a long time and because I was manipulated. I used reiki today to try and repair my burnt out nervous system and it worked, but it took away tje emotional charge and it fdlt like.... it never happened. Like it was just taken away with no processing, no nothing. Just yanked. It sounds nice but it feels like all the pain and sorrow i went through was for nothing, and now i dont even have the only proof of everything that happened to me, which was my anger. If this continues happening then everything my family did will be swept under the rug and i will have to deal with the fact that i carried something so huge and imense and no one saw it or cared, and it was all just worthless in the end, and tjey get to get away with it.

I dont know if im making any sense but its the best i can do. Has anyone else felt this way? Does reiki take away all the pain or does the emotional pain still stay there?

Title is as it says. My family thought they were doing the "right thing" and portray themselves as the heroes and now i have to deal with picking up the pieces and the damage, which will take years to do and thats not even mentioning the unmentioned psicological damage they caused me. Not to mention in a system that doesnt have resources for narc abuse or therapists that get these issues.

Im fucking pissed. Im wasting years of my life repairing damage they caused and they get to live their lives and be happy. Im wasting more time i could be living my life to the fullest but im stuck repairing the fucking damage while they portray themselves as heroes. Im having fucked up revenge and harmful thoughts and I genuienly dont know what to do.