Is a long story but hear me out please
I’m M (30) need some advice for my current relationship situation
back in 2016 I know my current gf in university, now we know each other for almost 10 years, after uni 2018 we both started to work together in the same company. All was going well , we rent a room together in SG, spend time together, stay together etc like what normal couple would do except she doesn’t want to have sex because she wanted to keep her virginity for after marriage and only give me blowjob, which i respect and never cross that boundary. We stayed together about 2 years she started asking me for marriage and at that time marriage wasn’t in my plan/priority. All I want was earn enough money first. So we on and off keep arguing about marriage and one day she decided she had enough and wanted a break up. I tried my best to keep her to stay but she still wanted to break up. So we ended breaking up
That time when we break up , I just started a new job in different company but we still in contact and we both moved out she stayed at central and I stayed at north side. After break up we still keep in touch like messaging and will often come out to meet and have a meal. Most of the time is I go all the way to central to find her. Our relationship was still strong and we both know we can’t let go of each other but because of she wanted marriage and I don’t. We keep in touch this way for about 2 years and at the same time in my new company I have a female colleague which started to have feeling towards me but I DONT as I still in love with my ex, I work with this colleague for 1 year then she started to likes me and start to chase me for 1 year, like she will make food for me to eat in office , always wait for me after work, will ask me to go out to spend time together during weekend etc but we didn’t do anything sexual/couple thingy she didn’t confess to me but all my other colleague told me is very obvious she likes me
This is where things get messy, I started to have feeling towards my colleague as what she did for that 1 year I feel touched but also I still keep in contact with my ex which I also still have feelings. At the same time I have been keep asking my ex to get back together with me but she doesn’t want to. So after that 2 years, I asked my colleague one day whether she likes me and she say yes, we started dating and the time spend together got more frequent, she invited me to her house and make food for me and slowly we make up and have oral sex few times and sex only once. But we didn’t make it official bf/gf
At the same time of the above happening my ex decided to get back together with me which I made a terrible mistake here, I have to admit. I agreed to get back together with my ex which she doesn’t know that I have been with my colleague
for about 1 months, I have been struggling and wanting to make things clear so I decided to let go of my colleague and choose my ex , I decided to stop seeing my colleague and told her I’m choosing my ex and we will be getting back together but she still keep wanting to be together with me (this moment I already with my gf) so my colleague have been keep wanting/begging me choose her for about one month and my gf started to suspect me
One day my gf found out and we have a fight and I told her everything and I apologise but she can’t accept and ask for break up but this time I really don’t want to let her go and promise her we will get married this time and I rented a room and moved her in to stay with me till now
For about 2 years
For that 2 years of staying together with my gf , I have been suffering and being disrespect by her , she scolded me and saying things that is so bad that just to hurt me all of because what I did to her. I told her I will give her time to heal and we can move on but for the past 2 years she will keep bringing up the past and start a fight with me which I can’t do anything but being silent and apologize
As I rented the room , I left the company and blocked out all of my colleague social connections and I’m jobless but have some emergency funds to stay alive. She told me when I found a job , she ask me to leave but during this 2 years my believe was if I treat her good enough she will forgive me and at least give our relationship one last try but I was wrong , I understand she can’t forget whatever I did to her but I swear I never ever started a fight in our relationship before , it was all her and she can’t stop bringing up the past , which I really disappointed with myself for doing all those shit that I did
Now my current situation is I found a new job and I told her I will be moving out soon to let her go as that’s what she want , BUT after all those 2 years of her scolding but I still treated her good , she want me to stay and say let’s discuss if we both are suitable for marriage, which I was fine as that’s what my initial intention is but during our discussion again I feel that she isn’t yet fully heal and still keep bringing up the past to hurt me and blame me. I’m not saying that I’m not wrong but I have apologize again and again but is going nowhere as she saying she will try to stop bringing up the past anymore
I still really love my current gf as she is someone who is really kind and treat me very well , she will cook for me , take care of me when I was sick etc , is just that when it comes to what I did, she can’t help but being negative and all the blaming and shaming thing come out
Now the question is should I stay and see where things go?
or
move out is a better choice? My thinking is to move out and we break up for a year and revisit again to see if we can still be together after that.
Anyone? Feel free to say anything, I’m fine with whatever comment coming