I gained weight to cockblock myself, and now I am paying the price.
So, I've not always been an amazing husband. I'm a loving father, and I work hard for my family. But I also struggle with addiction: alcohol, drugs... and other things.
I won't tell the whole story, but in my mid 20's, after 5 or 6 years of repeated infidelity, I came to the realization that my womanizing was hurting the only good thing that ever happened to me, and that I was not just self destructing, but ruining the life of the person I cared about most. That may seem strange to people who are 100% faithful, but the ability to love someone is not directly tied to wanting to have sex with *only them*.
Realizing that my additive personality wasn't doing me any favors, and that I was too weak willed to resist temptations, I tried to redirect my addiction. Weed and coke gave way to cigarettes, sex gave way to alcohol, and anything that put me in a position to cheat, I stayed away from. I stopped going out with the crowd that would just enable me to be my worst, most selfish self. I stayed home.
The impact was immediate. I felt better about my relationship, and became a better husband and father... but I gained weight quickly, going from 190 pounds to 220 in about 6 months.
The added weight made me less attractive, which helped make it "safe" for my relationship. I leaned inro this heavily. More weight = less attention, less interest from women, less chance of me caving to desires. I went from 220 to 250 over the next 6 months, and tried to stay there. It did the job.
I'm now in my mid 40s, and close to 300 pounds. I haven't cheated on my wife in close to 2 decades, but I also can't lose the weight. My knees, my ankles, my hips, and my back ache all the time. I'm out of breath too quickly, and when I try to motivate myself to lose weight, I inevitably injure myself exercising.
I've saved my marriage, but I may have shaved 20 or 30 years off my life in the process, and I have definitely caused myself physical pain I will likely never get over.
Some would say it's karma. I can't help but think that maybe, they are right. That this is payment for years of cheating.
Either way, I have nobody to blame but myself.