Overwhelmed and sobbing
I have never felt this terrible after a shift. This is the first time ever that I've had to stay overtime to finish charting. I stayed 20 minutes past my usual clock out time... As soon as I got to my car, I started crying so hard that I was hyperventilating. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I had to stay overtime. This has never happened before. I fell so hard behind in my charting. I was struggling to stay on top of my rounds and tasks.
I used to be so good at multi-tasking and being efficient with my time. I used to work at another hospital about a year and a half ago. I had more responsibilities then. Vitals, blood sugar checks, average of 12 patients... At this new hospital, I don't have to do vitals and bg checks. And I have on avg 8 patients. But tonight, I had 11, and I struggled so hard.
I just started this new job about a month and a half ago. I know I'm a bit rusty, but I still have a year's experience under my belt.
A coworker noticed that I was struggling this shift. Because she has noticed my struggling before, she said it may not be my patient load but me. That comment hurts because I try my best every shift, and I just get so busy that I barely sit down until a couple of hours into my shift to start charting.
I just feel so terrible. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm a bad nursing assistant. I look back and think about all the things I could have done better. I feel like crying again. And I feel ashamed for staying 20 minutes overtime to finish charting. Never have I done that before...
I just want to let this all out so I can try to sleep today.