u/SpecialPractice5595

Hi reddit, the thought of posting on here whenever i have problems going on keeps circling in my head so here I am. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now so its still a fresh relationship even though it doesn’t feel like it. For some context we met online and after texting and calling for about a month or two we decided to meet up and since then we’ve been hanging out almost every day and not long after he asked me to be his gf. Before i met him though I was in what I would say my „prime“ so far, I think it was the best I‘ve ever looked but after i met my bf I feel like im becoming less attractive and I‘m not sure why that is, maybe im not putting as much effort in my looks as I used to idk. Besides the point, my bf and i were talking one time and the topic of my instagram came up in which he called me a catfish. I’m confident in my looks and I’m aware that i might not look as good as i do on my instagram pictures but who does right? Side note, no, I never edit my pictures, i don’t use filters that change my looks in any way (only changing the colouring sometimes) and I don’t look that drastically different, I’d say its just me from a good angle with good lighting. After he mentioned it i kinda shrugged it off maybe he was joking but it didn’t matter he’s still attracted to me is what i thought. Since that first time the term Catfish has come up a few times in comments he’s made and yeah they usually are meant in a joking way i suppose, but they do make me question if he actually feels like that. Especially the past 3 days id say hes called me a catfish about 3 times if not more and in just normal situations, for instance we would lie in bed and he would turn to me and say something like “come here my catfish gf” like wtf. What rubbed me the wrong way is how today i sent him a picture of me getting ready and he replied with “ahh my catfish queen”, which didn’t make me feel great about myself. I did look good in that picture and I looked the same when looking in the mirror but if he looked at me from a bad angle of course i wouldn’t have looked that great. One time a few weeks ago as we were on call he was going through my instagram highlights and kept commenting on how i “dont look like that” or how i “look so different there” (most of the pictures were more than a year older so that couldve played a part in how i looked slightly younger or just different there since I have changed in a year). This often makes me question if hes even attracted to me knowing his type is blondes and I’m a brunette but i always shrug it off on how at least im funny and i remember one time when he said that he would never be with me if i were chopped. I don’t wanna bring it up and start an argument but i know it will happen again and i was even planning on posting a what i think is a cute picture of me on my instagram but i can’t stop questioning whether i actually look like that to others or i just look like that to me in my head, but how do i go about this next time or how do i bring it up without sounding insecure?